Second Plan

This is joint-written.

“Okay, so the first part’s gonna be the hardest. We get the Crusaders and the selkies to work together,” Niqi said. They were holed up in the Snapdragon for the day while they figured out plans and got some much-needed rest.

“F**k!” Glide exclaimed, somewhat suddenly. “We forgot to ask Kigetski if he knew how to get through the Dragonspine!”

Niqi sighed. “It’s fine, Glide; we’ll just ask him once we’re back in the Northern Cross, trying to get the Crusaders to go along with the plan.”

“I know a way.” Lujuria piped up. “There’s tunnels through the mountains that the poison doesn’t reach.”

Glide stared at him for a moment. “And you didn’t tell us this, because...?”

“You never asked.” Lujuria smirked.

“Okay, that’s settled. Once we’ve gotten the two Crosses to work together, which so help me God is going to take forever, we lead a huge army of Crusaders and Selkies against the Southern Cross,” Niqi continued. “And since we now know we can get through the Dragonspine, we might be able to take them by surprise.”

“It would still take a while to get there.” Glide muttered, grabbing a globe from a nearby shelf. “See, check it out. We’d need to head through the north gate of the Northern Cross, and make it across the entire Untamed Lands in one piece to even reach the Dragonspine. And there’s a lot of monsters that never leave the Dragonspine that’ll be a huge obstacle.”

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Ambree responded, looking up at Glide. “We’ve got you to lead us.”

“Yeah, because we all know the selkies aren’t too afraid of me to follow me into some incredibly one-sided battle.” Glide said, doing nothing to conceal his sarcasm.

“That’s why the first part is going to take so goddamned long. We need to stop the prejudice on this world, and that’s never an easy thing to do,” Niqi replied.

“I’ll help you.” Belleza said from the doorway, holding a large flail. “You young people need someone with some experience.”

Glide raised an eyebrow. “Holy s**t.”

“Grandma, where’d you get a flail?” Lujuria asked, eyes wide.

“Oh, this old thing?” Belleza smiled. “I’ve had this forever. It’s been collecting dust, up in the attic, for decades.”

“Damn, Belleza, and here I was taking you to be some kindly old woman,” Niqi muttered.

“Appearances can be deceiving.” Belleza chuckled. “I was quite the warrior in my younger days, and I still remember how to use this.”

“...You freak me out sometimes, Bell.” Glide muttered.

“Make that two,” Niqi added.

“Three,” Ambree said, smirking.

“That’s my grandma.” Lujuria smiled. “Such a crazy lady.”

“You said it.” Glide laughed.

“Okay, so we’ve got Glide in the lead, and Ambree, I, and…Belleza…will be the main support. Now, we just need a way to get the Crusaders and the selkies to give up their petty feud long enough to deal with the demons,” Niqi said.

“Leave that to me.” Lujuria said.

“They used to call me Lady Stardust...” Belleza murmured.

Glide sighed softly. “Oh man, she’s gone into her own little world again.”

Niqi ignored Belleza for the moment, turning to Lujuria. “What’s your idea?”

“We go to the Northern and Eastern Crosses’ leaders and propose a truce on behalf of the other.” Lujuria said. “If all goes well, they’ll accept, and end up working together, thinking the other one set the whole thing up, when they’re really just assisting us.”

“Brilliant. Nobody will know who really came up with the idea,” Niqi grinned. “And when a Crusader and a selkie get together and talk about it long after we’re gone, they’re going to be confused as hell.”

 

…

 

The plans were eventually set in stone, and when it was evident that everything was settled for the moment, Glide and Niqi took Ambree outside to train some more.

Most of the day was spent in this way. When the triple sun was finally setting, the trio went inside to get to sleep early.

“We all good to go?” Glide asked, descending the stairs.

“I’m ready.” Lujuria said.

Belleza wandered in from an adjacent room, wearing a suit of armor and carrying her flail. “Just point me to an a*s and I’ll kick it... Maybe punch it a few times, too.”

“Hot showers are nice,” Ambree mumbled, walking downstairs with wet hair. She stared at Belleza for a few moments. “I swear to God…I think I’ve seen it all, and then…” She continued walking down the steps.

Niqi joined everyone else shortly, having a similar reaction to Belleza but not saying anything. She sighed. “Why am I always last?”

“Because you’re slow.” Glide snickered. “You two better be ready, ’cause we’re about to leave.”

“I’m all set,” Niqi replied, checking to see that her katana was still in place.

“Ready, if you don’t count the wet hair,” Ambree said, smiling.

“Okay.” Glide said, pushing open the Snapdragon’s door and walking outside. “Everybody know what you’re gonna do?”

“I’m bringing the ‘truce’ to the selkie king.” Lujuria said.

“Why are my feet creaking?” Belleza asked, squinting in the morning light. “And why am I outside so early...?”

Niqi sighed. “Glide, you wanna remind grandma what she’s supposed to do?”

“What, you don’t remember, Lady Stardust?” Glide smirked.

The name seemed to bring Belleza back to reality. “Oh, right, dearie. I’m supposed to make sure the Head Crusader gets word of the truce, so nobody tries to stop the selkies when they come through the Northern Cross to reach the Untamed Lands.”

“And I’m going with her,” Ambree said.

“I’m going with you to the Dragonspine, to check out those tunnels and build a more detailed battle plan,” Niqi directed at Glide.

“Right.” Glide nodded. “Come on, everybody, let’s get moving.”

Lujuria was first to break from the group, heading East at the crossroads. “I’ll see you guys in the Southern Cross.”

“Be safe, Lujuria,” Niqi said, nodding once. She was still thankful for the truce idea.

“Don’t worry about me!” Lujuria called over his shoulder. “Nobody would hurt someone this cute!”

“He’s got a point there.” Glide laughed.

The four continued northward until they reached the Northern Cross, at which point Belleza and Ambree broke off to bring word of the ‘truce’ to Kigetski.

Niqi ruffled Ambree’s hair. “Don’t get yourselves into any trouble, and make sure grandma knows what she’s doing,” she said, smiling.

Ambree pulled her hair back into place. “We’ll be fine. You guys be careful up in the Dragonspine.”

“It’s the monsters that need to be careful.” Glide grinned. “We’ll fill you in on any changes to the plans when you guys get there.”

Ambree nodded, turning to Belleza. “Come on, Lady Stardust,” she said to her, smirking. They went off in the general direction of the Crusaders’ headquarters, and then it was just Glide and Niqi.

Niqi looked at Glide for a few moments, breaking into a grin. “Race you?”

“Bah, compared to you, I’m Sonic the motherfucking hedgehog.” Glide muttered. “Eat some dust!” He barked, taking off toward the north gate.

Niqi laughed, got down on all fours – something she did very rarely – and sprinted after Glide.

Reviews

[KEi]

rofling@"Sonic the motherfucking hedgehog"

xD

I love funny terminology.