The Past and the Future

This is joint-written.

“Turns out we got the wrong frickin doorway after all, landed in some sort of lava planet,” Niqi continued, laughing.

“Oh God, how the hell did you get out of that mess?” Ambree asked.

“It was pretty damned hard. We had to keep dodging lava and s**t, trying to get back. Just imagine Glide, trying to dodge lava.”

Ambree nearly doubled over laughing.

“Oh, yeah, that’s great. You wanna talk about bad luck?” Glide muttered. “How about we tell her what happened once we got back? You know, when you chose another door and we nearly got trampled by giant ants?”

“The f**k? Giant ants?” Ambree managed through tears of laughter.

“Those things shouldn’t have existed, by all rights. Glide’s the one that disturbed the huge frickin anthill anyway, trying to figure out what it was,” Niqi replied.

Glide rolled his eyes. “For your information, I knew exactly what it was. I’m just naturally destructive.”

“Well if you had giant anthill figured out, one would assume that giant ants would follow,” Niqi muttered.

“How was I supposed to know they’d survive the impact of a boulder on top of the anthill?” Glide griped. “I figured it’d smash the whole damn thing, or at least collapse the tunnels so they couldn’t come up.”

Niqi rolled her eyes. “Anyways, we went through more doorways like that for a long time, before I finally got him to stop and ask for directions. We didn’t have many problems after that…well, except the normal kind that usually follows us whenever we decide to go somewhere.”

“Like people falling in love with me.” Glide nodded. “That seems to happen a lot, for some reason.”

“It’s the fur,” Niqi commented, snickering.

“What, you mean the color?” Glide asked, somewhat surprised. “Why would that have anything to do with it? Is it just because it’s such a girly color?”

“Does it naturally grow that color, anyway?” Ambree asked.

“No,” Niqi replied.

“Then how-”

“Frosting bomb,” Niqi said, snickering.

“…Frosting bomb?”

“It is not funny.” Glide growled.

Ambree tried to hold back her laughter, but failed entirely.

Niqi joined her shortly after. She attempted to stop under Glide’s glare. “Okay, okay, it’s not funny…but…” She started laughing again.

In an instant, Glide’s arm was out of the sling and holding Niqi by the scruff.

Niqi yelped, struggling to get down. “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry,” she pleaded.

Glide glared at her for a moment, then dropped her. “Never make fun of the fur.”

Niqi grumbled inaudibly, getting back on her feet and starting to walk again. “Why don’t you just dye it back, anyway?”

“Do you know how long that takes?” Glide asked. “I never have time to sit in one place and do it, with Davis, Sandy and Ricky always causing such f****n' havoc.”

Ambree’s brow creased in confusion. “Who are Davis, Sandy and Ricky?”

“Glide’s kids,” Niqi answered shortly.

“He has kids? I thought he was-”

“Long story,” Niqi replied.

“Very long.” Glide added. “We’re probably getting close to the Northern Cross. Good thing, too. The Wildkin get aggressive at night.”

“Such a small planet compared to Earth,” Niqi sighed.

Glide laughed. “You’re totally wrong, y’know. This place is huge. The crosses are just close together.”

“In that case, such an unused planet compared to Earth,” Niqi grinned.

“Well, if you’d like to clear out the monsters and the Wildkin from the Untamed Lands, I’m sure everyone would be happy to expand.” Glide smirked, sliding his arm back into the sling.

“I’ll get back to you when overpopulation becomes a problem,” Niqi replied.

“I don’t think it ever will.” Glide said. “Except, maybe, for the humans. Nobody’s killin’ them.”

“It’s the goddamned demons. They’re weighing us down, a constant hindrance,” Niqi responded.

Glide nodded. “I know. I say we slaughter the whole goddamned lot of ’em, stop screwing around.”

“I see a cross,” Ambree said suddenly, staring at an upcoming hilltop.

“That’s gotta be it.” Glide said. “Maybe Kigetski knows how we can get through the Dragonspine without you girls dying. Shetani might’ve been on to something a while back, when she suggested it.”

“Well, in any case, Ambree needs to become a Crusader before we can do anything else,” Niqi said.

Glide nodded again. “Let’s hope Kigetski’s in a good mood...”

Reviews

[KEi]

I lol'd at something in that chapter alot, and I forgotten what it-

No, I've not.
It's the fur.

:D