Chapter Six: Manifestation of Thought

In just an hour and a half, Elizabeth is beginning to put certain thoughts and feelings into words in her mind - something she was desperately trying not to do.

 

When we were back in the apartment, Falian made himself at home on the couch immediately. I, however, remained standing in the living room behind the couch he was on, unsure what to do.

Falian noticed and glanced up at me. “Something wrong?”

“I’m just…Is there anything I can get you so you can keep yourself occupied?” I asked.

He shrugged, but then he stopped, seeming to think of something. “Do you have paper and a pen?”

“Yes, why?” I smirked. “This is starting to sound like twenty questions.”

He grinned. “Indeed. I just wanted the paper so that I can express some of my thoughts. This place is a lot stranger than it seems from up there.” He nodded at the ceiling.

I smiled and went to go get the pen and paper, although I secretly wished he would express his thoughts to me. I dared not form that into words in my head, however.

There were no words exchanged when I handed him the pen and paper. I went into my room and selected a book from the shelf that usually distracted me from my own existence. I learned quickly, however, that it did not work so well when I was trying to distract myself from Falian’s existence.

Eventually, I was able to focus on the writing. I couldn’t help but sense Falian’s presence through it all, though, and it became somewhat annoying. I gave up a few chapters in, and went to check on Falian.

I stopped in my bedroom doorway, staring at him. The paper was filled with writing, placed on the coffee table along with the pen. Falian was facing the other way, kneeling in front of the couch, and praying silently.

The sight made me slightly uneasy and slightly happy at the same time, though I didn’t understand the rhyme and reason behind the emotions. He appeared to be completely entranced. Sometimes he would mouth words, though I could never catch what he was saying. Eventually the uneasiness faded away, and I leaned against the doorframe, fascinated. I didn’t dare interrupt him.

After a long time, he stopped mouthing words and then unfolded his hands. He stood up, stretching slightly, and then caught sight of me. “Oh, hi,” he said, caught off guard.

I immediately felt guilty for spying on him. “Sorry, I just – well, I was going to check on you, and then I saw you praying, and it was interesting…” I trailed off.

He laughed. “No harm done.”

I paused, debating whether I should ask it. I decided it couldn’t hurt. “What were you praying about?”

“Well, I prayed that He would help to keep you safe…” My heart skipped, though I probably should have been expecting that. “…and for Him to help me figure out how to live in this crazy world,” he added, grinning.

I laughed. “Is it really that hard to adjust?”

“It is.” He paused. “I also told Him that I missed Him,” he added to the list. He sounded sad.

I had no idea what to say to that. “Well…maybe you’ll see Him again soon.” I suddenly realized – “Not that I want you to die!” I sounded frantic.

He laughed, louder than all the other times.

After a moment, I couldn’t hold myself back from smiling, and soon I was laughing uncontrollably with him.

We ended up on the couch together, and eventually Falian’s laughs died down enough for him to breathe again. “Elizabeth…you are truly hilarious these days.”

I chose to tease him to hide the embarrassment I felt over the compliment. “‘These days’? To me, ‘these days’ are the only days we’ve ever known each other.” I still, after all this time, could not get over the fact that he knew everything about me.

He sighed. “I wish I could tell you everything about myself–”

“You can’t?” I interrupted, alarmed by this fact.

He silenced my fears before I had too much time to panic. “No, it’s not exactly that I can’t. It’s just that I wouldn’t have much to tell.”

“Why is that? Life up there has to be way more interesting than it is down here.” He was causing me to become captivated again, like he usually did. Captivated. I hadn’t known him all that long, and already things were starting to remind me of him.

“Not to sound condescending, but I’m not sure there are many things you would understand. I don’t think I could describe it all to you in words. Everything is so much more…real. To me, this seems like a blurry, miniature version. But it has some nice quirks,” he responded, smiling at me.

“Can you try to tell me something, at least, if not everything?” I hoped I only sounded whiny to my own ears.

He looked off into space. “Pretty much all of my…existence, I suppose you could call it, revolves around serving God. I was chosen to be your guardian angel. This is the only task I have ever known, save for praising God…It’s not as if there was a sequence to it all – there is no time in Heaven. There is a deeper, more orderly flow to things, but it’s not time. That’s one of those things that are incredibly hard to explain, because there are no existing words to describe it. Anyways…because of this, it’s hard to say what came first and what came next. I existed, and I existed to protect you. That’s how it was; there was never a point when I was not doing that, although I did other things. Then you were going to die, and so I fell. Suddenly I was occupying time and space instead of just…being…it was unsettling, but I knew I had to find you before it was too late.” His brow creased, as if he was seeing something horrible. “When I finally found you, I was so overcome by the fact that I could see you, that I could touch you, and you knew all of a sudden that I existed. I spoke your name, and I knew you could hear me this time. But then the reality that I had missed the opportunity to save you came crashing down on me, and I was miserable. I soon realized, however, that I still knew enough to fix what Brenda had done – so I did. And I wanted so badly to stay with you, but I knew you wouldn’t understand anything at that moment.”

I sat, taking in his words for many long moments. I suddenly felt very small – and yet, I felt the need to ask the least profound of all the questions I had. “You never explained to me – how, exactly, did you heal me?”

He smiled as if the answer was plain to see. “As an angel, you know a lot, and hence you know a lot about how the physical world works. In the moments I was with you that first night, I could still recall enough information to be able to ‘see’ what was wrong or damaged with your body at the time. I also ‘saw’ how it would be after it had healed, and I just sort of…well, sped up the process of that healing.”

“That clarifies everything,” I replied sarcastically.

He smiled apologetically. “It’s another one of those things I can’t exactly explain correctly. Also…I can’t understand how the physical world works quite so well anymore.” He tapped his head. “Not enough room in here to keep it for very long.”

“How is it that you have such a good memory, then?” I asked.

“Are you kidding? The memories are dominating half of my brain they’re so vivid. After knowing all about life for such a long time, experiencing it is so new that I keep hold of it longer.”

I smiled. “I’ve been having vivid memories lately as well.” I suddenly realized what I had just said. “I mean…I’m sorry, it’s just that I…”

He cocked his head slightly. “I see nothing wrong with that statement.”

I laughed shakily. “I think I just startled myself. I didn’t realize I was thinking out loud.” I had more questions, however, and a slip like that wasn’t going to keep me from asking them. “What did you do the five days we were apart?”

Falian shrugged. “I tried to stay out of the public eye. I prayed a lot. I tried hard to become adjusted to living like this, but I quickly found that it’s easier said than done. To an angel, anyways.”

I smiled, and he smiled back. I continued along with the questions. “If you don’t mind me asking…what did you write on the paper that I gave you?” I asked, glancing down them it for a moment.

He pondered for a moment. “Take a look, if you want.”

I picked up the sheets of paper. I first noted that he had an elegant, slanted script, and then began reading. It was mostly an account of everything that had happened after he fell, including his long contemplations over each matter. Some of the things he mused about were simple, everyday things, such as food, secrets, and time, which hadn’t existed in his world before. I was amused at a part where he ranted about the government being annoying – particularly because ‘In today’s society, you don’t exist unless there are fifty documents saying you do,’ and thus he couldn’t live like a normal human. And thus, he couldn’t be with me 24/7.

That was something I found odd. In every entry, no matter how small or large or off-the-wall, he mentioned me. He spoke of everything else as new, confusing, or frustrating, but I seemed to be a constant. I was something that was simply there, no matter what.

He’s just like this because he feels he needs to protect you I reprimanded myself. If I got too caught up in what I wanted it to be like instead of what it was like, I might start thinking out loud again.

I realized that I had finished a while ago, and I put the paper back onto the coffee table. I looked back at Falian.

“Your thoughts?” he asked, looking very interested.

It’s probably just because he can’t really sense what you’re feeling or thinking anymore I told myself quickly, trying to beat down the sudden lash of hope that was frighteningly trying to form itself into words in my head. “It was very…interesting. I knew most of it from what you told me, but your ponderings about some of the things I take for granted are fascinating.”

He nodded slightly. “I just had to get that out, because it’s all been floating around in my head for days now.”

I glanced at the clock. It had only been an hour and a half since we got back to the apartment – how could time stretch so far out to encompass everything that had happened? I decided I needed time alone – too much Falian was going to make me dizzy, and I also needed some time to absorb everything new I had learned about him. “I’m going to go into my room, I need to be by myself,” I told him, and then got up.

He nodded and got up himself, headed for the place I kept my paper – he must have seen where I kept it.

I was glad he was starting to think of what was mine as his. The thought was dangerous; I knew that immediately. I quickly removed myself from his presence before I could do anything rash.

Author's Note

Sorry it ends kind of abruptly. Hope it's long enough to keep you satisfied, I wrote this in two days. Yay speedwriting. @_@

Reviews

[Forist.johnston]

Love it! To chapter seven!

[KEi]

"Too much Falian was going to make me dizzy."

IS HE A DRUG?!
roflz.
Seriously.

Also, aren't chapters meant to end abruptly?
(In relation to the authors' note, that is.)

[Claudia MelGregory]

Wow, for speedwriting this is pretty good. I was only going to read the first chapter and then come back to the rest later but found myself instead, clicking the next chapter button, and then the next. Her thought process is great in that it is random, just the way we normal humans tend to process things, and so this gives an air of credibility to Elizabeth as a relate-able character.

Her fears are real. Her past is real and something we or people we know or have heard of experience everyday.

And her imagination in the car on the way to the party with her friend, that grabbed me because I do it to when traveling, and can't stop myself from imagining different car wreck scenarios, squeezing my eyes sometimes because each image seems real and like it will happen any moment.

I hope you intend to keep this going.

Claudia

[Wolfwind Words]

Ack! No acknowledgement of love! I was so expecting at least a kiss! Ah well, at least a little more is explained and expanded apon. I can hardly wait for the next chapter!
I feel as if these two are both children, one who knows not about the others way of thinking, so they can't fathom, that they are thinking the same thing.
I do so hope it dawns on Elizabeth that her angel loves her more then she could ever imagine.
I think that this is the best chapter so far. Perhaps you write best when you are speed writing! lol
Keep up this amazing tale!