Dying Embers

A hike gone wrong. (Trigger warning: blood)

Howling winds and rustling leaves were the only sounds on a day like this. The fire's soft crackling occassionally joined in, only to die seconds later. Swearing softly under your breath, you poked at the fire again. The late autumn air sent another chill down your spine. You glanced outside the cave and shook your head. "Still no one nearby..." you thought as you lit another flare just outside the cave's opening. The flare sparkled and whizzed as you sulked back to your fire. It was hopeless. No one would ever find you.

~Earlier that day~

You finished tying your hiking boots and slung on you backpack. It was heavy with flares, food, water bottles, a first aid kit, and the things you brought for over-night. You had joined a hiking group for a two-day thirty mile backpacking trip. After hiking the first seven miles, the group stopped for a lunch break.

"Okay everyone, five more minutes before we head back to the trails," the guide announced. "Stick to the left side of the trail, and don't get too close to the cliff-side. The chance of surviving the fall is one hundred to one, so stay safe."

You snapped a quick picture of the cliff view before tucking the camera away for the hike. You hadn't been paying very much attention to the guide this whole trip, but you were experienced enough to know the various dangers the trail would have. You spent weeks studying the topography and wildlife of the area so you felt like an expert already. When the guide headed out, you followed slowly behind the group, more interested in the surrounding area than chatting with the group.

The wind blew softly past you. Soon the voices faded away and the only sound you heard was the crunching of leaves underneath your feet. When you turned back towards the group, they were gone. Not having the trail map with you, you ran ahead, hoping they weren't too far off. Just when you thought you saw them, your foot slipped sending you falling off the cliff. You scream pierced the air, catching the attention of the other hikers, but it was too late.

You shivered and opened your eyes, taking a lazy look around. Everything hurt and you could tell you were weak. You sat up slowly despite the siring pain.Your leg was bleeding badly, and your vision was blurry. The pool of blood told you how long you had been unconscious. Luckily your backpack protected you from any serious harm. Yanking it off, you pulled an extra shirt from it, tearing it for a makeshift wrap to stop the blood. There wasn't much your first aid kit could do about a gash this big. You winced at the pain, but at least you could stand.

You limped over to a cave nearby and set off a flare before collapsing inside the shelter. Your breathing was shallow and came to terms with the fact you wouldn't survive long without professional medical attention. You had lost way to much blood to last overnight on your own. You started a small fire to help you keep warm, but it was difficult to keep going as the wind picked up and swirled through the cave.

You spent several hours this way, going back and forth between stoking the fire and lighting flares. Of course you watch had broken with the force of the fall, and your phone battery had died moments ago, not like you got service to call people way out here. The pain in your leg was almost too much for you to handle, but your adrenaline helped ease it slightly. You leaned back against the cave wall and sighed in exasperation. The guide said something about the odds of survival being small, so they probably weren't even searching for you.

You laid back on the floor of the cave, feeling the warmth of the small flame. Closing your eyes, your slowly calmed to a state of almost unconsciousness. You were afraid to sleep, but you didn't have the strength to stay awake any longer. You last flare was gone, and the fire was dying, but you didn't care anymore. There was nothing else you could do.

The hiking group led the medics on a search that lasted hours, but they finally came across one of your flares. Glancing inside the cave, they were relieved to have finally found you. The pool of blood they had found was a bad sign, but you were okay. "Were" meaning they were too late. What they found was your body, cold to the touch, lying on the floor of the cave. You fought hard, but your were taken in the end. The only thing that showed you were okay just moments ago was beside you: a pile of dying embers.

Reviews

[LastMonth]

Wow. This is special. The way you chose to write this is unique. I don't think I came across something quite like it. Not only putting the reader in the shoes of the protagonist, but turning them into it. I've read it twice, though honestly the second time was only to look for mistakes and things I'd fix.

Just shows how invested I was in my first read-through. There's alot of good stuff in this. There's really only one thing I'd improve, and that is the details in some of the action. Though perhaps you did it on purpose, keeping it minimal. The lighting of the fire felt a bit easy to me, but that's really my only quip on this.

Its a great story and I was deeply warped in it from the start to the finish.
The way you kept me hanging at the finish-line with the medics finding 'me' was just cruel. But that's not a bad thing. The concept of the dying embers is a gorgeous one. Many people find fire to be beautiful and coherent with life. And you've used that connection well here.

Thank you for the story.

[Star Angel]

Thank you so much. First-/Second-person perspective is always fun to write. I wrote this a few months ago and had it posted on another website, but no one said anything about it. I guess it shocked them because on that other website I tend to write mostly light-hearted stuff and romance. I tried to write a darker way than usual, and had a lot of fun. This story wouldn't have even happened if I wasn't trying to find a title for another story of mine, and when this popped into my head, I had to write it.

As for the fire thing, I haven't been camping in a long time, and usually my mom starts the campfires while I'm hanging out around the campground. At the time I wrote this, I had kind of blanked on how to build a campfire, so I left out the details. But I figured, if "you" were planning on hiking and staying over-night in the woods, "you" would have some matches or something to start a fire with.

Thank you so much for reading it :3

[LastMonth]

No problem. Thank you for sharing it.
I'm very new to this site (4 glorious days) and my job kinda leaves me with alot of 'Dead' time.
Looking forward to reading a bunch of your stuff.

[Star Angel]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll be sure to keep working hard then :3