We Can Make It Through

Just read, please

No one left to rescue me,

I turn to you just so you see

For you all the tears I've cried,

They have been here a while and are almost dried

You meant a lot to me,

Now you are leaving me be

This hurts like hell,

Can't you look at me and tell

I needed you in my life,

You helped with all my strife

Now there is no going back so you say,

I tell you we can make it through, together, another day.

Reviews

[Enigma]

This sounds nice. I like the rhymes and the way you've put down your feelings as words really caught my eye. The last line is my favourite. I think you'd like to change the 6th line a bit so that it'd sound better. Something like - "Now you're leaving me to me"
But anyway, it's a well written poem. Good Job!! Keep writing... ^_^

[Stacy]

Thank you both for your comments, they have helped out and I thank you for enjoying my work.

[Michael]

You give it a true feeling of loss that will resonate with most every reader, yet you hold open the door of hope just a crack in the end. Again, something that adds to the truthfulness of it. Normally rhymed couplets give a work a light or humorous feel by their sing-song nature, your use touches a much deeper emotion and is nicely done.

Have you thought about balancing the meter of the couplets? It will ease the flow. I was thinking if you ended with a question too, it might add to the sense of hope you left us with. For example, if you change the last couplet to something like this, it has balance and leaves on an open question:

Now there's no going back together, not now, or so you say,
Why I ask, why can't we go back for at least one more day?

This is just a quick example, I do not claim it well thought out, just wanted to show what I was on about. With the question, you force the reader to own the poem a bit more.