Healing

Mangled and broken
If only that were how it happened
Maybe then it wouldn't hurt as much
I was so young, how could you be so heartless?
Was "No" not enough?
I was so innocent, so fragile
But you felt nothing wrong with stripping that from me
You needed your power, your control
You didn't give a s**t what it did to me
All that mattered was your own personal satisfaction
It never occurred to you that I was scared.
Or that two years later I was so vulnerable that it happened again
Neither of you felt pity
You just wanted what you believed was yours
And now I still sit here hurting
Crying myself to sleep
It didn't matter that you, the first one, took something that I could never get back
Or to the second that you injured more than just my skull and back
You both broke me in ways that I can't fix
The therapy bills didn't matter
Or the times I spent hospitalized from trying to end my life
You made me your paper doll
Your puppet
My will is gone
I am invading my own body now
Lost all semblance that I am myself
You took more than my innocence and security
You took me
You took my body
My soul
Now all I have is this empty shell of skin
Tattered and worn
What I want doesn't matter
It never has
Because neither of you cared
You didn't care that I had dreams
That I had already been scared before you came into my life
That your words and attacks and bruises built up more than a wall
All I want is freedom
All I want is to reclaim myself
I've tried for so long to erase the memories
To numb the pain
But now I am remembering everything
Now you've lost your power
Because I am finally healing

Reviews

[Stacie Dayton]

@ Ripple of Aqua, I wrote this from a past experience. In truth, it is an account of dealing with being raped which had happened to me as a young teen. I find my writing as a way to cope as well as a hopeful way for others to find a comfort and maybe even strength to talk about and deal with their own traumas.

[Ripple of Aqua]

At first you made me a little lost because I thought it was a healing from love, but as it progressed that was deffinetly not the case. I thought you wrote great, even for my early stupidity. But if that is really how you think I have to be a little frank and say that if you don't like these situations, then why do you keep walking into them with an open mind? But thankfully you have found resolve, which is a great relief. Keep writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

The ending is true. Abuse is cure with time and deciding to move on and find a better place to be. A excellent poem of living and learning.
Coyote