Love Making

I Wrote This For My Future Gf...♥

Walking to your house

Saying hello with a kiss

You tell me “Let’s go to the room”

In a very soft and gentle hiss

We lay on the bed

We kiss some more

I turn of the lights

While you close the door

You take of my clothes

And I do the same to you

We go under the blanket

Knowing exactly what to do

We touch each other softly

And we make some noise

We make some love

Feeling nothing but joys

Then when that’s done

We just play and horse around

We kiss tenderly

Making every kind of sound

Then we go to sleep

And we cuddle up tight

Happier than I could ever be

Thinking of you all night...♥

Reviews

[?]

This was very charming, nice flow

[newyearnorma]

very charming

[Kim]

So very nicely written, liked the flow of this write.

[Raven Starhawk]

It has a lovely flow to it that makes it charming.

[Ursula Kay Vos]

Good start and a good introduction for WC to you as a writer :) Welcome.

There are a few typos, and some areas that are forced that could be cleaned up by using synonyms or possibly rewording the line.
Other than that this was a good start.

[The Batman]

The poem had an extremel great, fluid way of reading it, making it super easy for the reader to read. You did, however, say "of" instead of "off" in a few cases throughout the poem. Nothing major. Great job!