"Mixed Emotions"

When everyone acts like they understand

“Mixed emotions”

By: Nicholas Lake

I broke up with her it had nothing to do with any of  you

But now you all say our friendship is through

Then you scream at me “What the hell is wrong with you”

Then you act like everything is fine

But you don’t understand that my wrist now has another bloody line

Now my razor never leaves my side

People always ask why

I answer with it’s the only one who has never lied

Who makes me feel better when I cry

The one thing that reminds me I don’t want to die

When everyone else acts like I should try

I try to leave my past behind

But then people ask me what I’ve gone through

Then I tell them all the crap i’ve had to do

Then they act like they've gone through worse

That’s what I hate about a lot of places like church

Because everyone acts like they have the answers

When they don’t know what it’s like

To have a friend take there own life

Or when you parents scream hell, and say you won’t amount to anything

Then expect you to grow up happy and sing songy

Then they try to make me glad by saying they wanted me to have the life they never had

Then you live your life depressed angry and mad

Not knowing any other emotions because those are the only feelings I ever had

But I've learned that they aren't that bad

And around others I've learned how to act glad

And I know it works because no one asks why I am so sad

But then I don’t know how I should act

And I am trapped with all of my mixed emotions...

Author's Note

tell me what you think