Jackie (a Hero)

        She pulled her skimpy black cloth she calls a dress over her body as she walked towards the apartment door. Jim watched the curvaceous beauty cover up her porcelain skin and the tiger tattoo on her back (the roses on her left arm and the angels and devils on right arm were obviously still out in the open). She flipped her dark hair as she turned around to meet eyes one more time. He stroked the stubble on his chin and ran a hand through his curly brown hair.
        �Do you see the money on the counter?�
        �Yeah, it�s right here.�
        �Same time next week, Yvonne?�
        �Sure.�
        She put on her heels, grabbed her purse and put the aforementioned money inside.
        �I�ll see you later Jim.�
        He caught a flash of light reflected off her lip ring before she shut the door.
        She wasn�t really a hooker, hell her name�s not even really Yvonne. Jackie met Jim at a show of some local band downtown (they weren�t terrible, but nothing to fall over for). She saw him near the bar and began the flirting however, due to some unforeseeable (and mildly hilarious) circumstances he thought she was a w***e. She was drunk enough to play along all the way to his apartment, and I guess he was a good enough lay that she decided meeting this guy once a week couldn�t hurt (and who couldn�t use some extra money?).
         She left the building and started walking down the street; it was a little late but she thought she could still hail down a taxi. She could not. So she decided that the subway would be fine; it only took one train to get her in walking distance of her place.
        The first train came just in time, but she was a little late. The next one came in twenty minutes, so she had to take a seat on a bench with some local wonders. Behold a brilliant creature who�s half man half the b***h who�s trying (and succeeding) to control the poor sap. Next is the incredible and undeniable man who did NOT sleep with the bar s**t (whether or not his woman believed him), and has the magical and mysterious ability to create a lipstick-like substance on the collar of his shirt. And, last but certainly not least, the world�s most fertile woman!
        Eventually the train came (a little early but hey, who am I to judge?) and everyone filed on like cows being herded to market (but with better results than the cows). The seats filled up quickly so Jackie was left to stand amongst her late-night peers; everyone swayed as the train began moving forward.
        Jackie was squeezed between a woman in a miniskirt and a (very) low-cut top who looked like she was about to exorcise the drinks she just finished hammering down a few blocks back at the 23rd Street bar on her left, and a man with so many pieces of metal on his face it looked like a robot climaxed on this guy�s face (not that there�s anything wrong with that; again, who am I to judge?) on her right. When the train jerked Jackie accidentally bumped into the sick woman, prompting the lady to explain to Jackie �Ugh, you dumb w***e!� before moaning and returning her eyes to the floor. Jackie contemplated the irony for a moment.
        However it was the man behind her that Jackie was really focusing on; he was wearing a black zip-up hoodie that overwhelmed his smaller physique. His hood was down showing everyone his punk-spiked blonde hair and darting blue eyes. His wiry face was clenched and sweating.
        Then he pulled a gun.
        It was just mass confusion after that; some people started yelling, some people stared crying, but by the end of the debacle it was him on one side of the train and everyone else on the other. Well, nearly everyone; somehow Jackie found herself behind the gun toting ne�er do well.
        �Everyone shut the f**k up!� the blue-eyed devil yelled at the crowd while banging his gun on a handrail, �My name�s Dan and I�ll be taking your money today.�
        Now Jackie really only had one shot at this, so she had to be very careful. She snuck behind Dan as quiet as humanly possible, jabbed her lip stick into the angry man�s back, and went into the dirtiest, gruffest voice a woman was ever forced to attempt.
        �Ok dip s**t, it�s over. Just give me the gun.� Jackie growled in a hushed tone.
        �Who the f**k��
        �This isn�t twenty questions a*****e; give me the gun or I�m f*****g shooting you.�
        �Listen man, I don�t have any problem with you; we can split the profits from this take if you just be cool.�
        �Well that�d be f*****g great but that�s not what I�m here for. Now either give me the f*****g gun or I�m splattering your organs all over these people.�
        The desperate Dan, who�s body was stiff as a board, looked all over the train for anything that might be able to save this horrible hold up.
        That�s when he saw a poor little old Puerto Rican woman (we�ll call her Anita); with hands at break-neck speeds he grabbed the woman and put his gun up to her head.
        Jackie took her �gun� and moved it from the small of his back to the back of his neck (so if she had to shoot him she wouldn�t hurt Anita) (yes, she forgot it wasn�t a real gun for a moment).
        The audience stood in silent awe; I don�t think they totally comprehended what was going on.
        �Are you f*****g happy now!� Dan again, �I�m about to shoot this woman through the back of the f*****g head!�
        �Come on Dan, you�re not about to shoot anyone.�
        �We could�ve split the f*****g money but no, you had to be a goddamn hero! Congratulations hero; you�re about to kill this b***h!�
        ��No one�s about to be shot, and do you know why?�
        �No, tell me.�
        �Because you�re not a killer. You�re a good person, and you don�t want to kill anybody; I can tell when I saw you before this. I bet you don�t even want to be here, so just give me the gun and calm down; you�re better than this.�        
        Everyone on the bus stopped. They stopped moving, they stopped breathing, they stopped thinking, they just stopped. The seconds seemed drag on and on while the silence was heavy enough to crush the smaller players of this god forsaken sketch (like Anita).
        Eventually Dan gave Jackie the gun.
        She quickly dropped her man�s voice and threw the lipstick to the side. Dan saw the lipstick and, putting the pieces together, sighed an �aw f**k� before Jackie took command of the situation. She told Dan to squat in the corner of the train with his hands on his head while another passenger called the police. They were waiting at the next stop.         A woman stopped Jackie before she exited the train.
        �Oh my God, thank you so much! You were so brave! What�s you�re name, my sister�s friend is a reporter and she�ll KILL to get this story!�
        �Oh, I�m just some w***e.�