Why God Laughs

Selected passages from my New book,Love's True Home

I was feeling so low when I woke up this morning that I had to climb an 18 ft extension ladder to get up to the basement, but I’m alright now.

Yesterday I was sitting at a local cafe slurping back a cup of coffee when a stranger approached my table and said “Can I join you?” I quickly scanned my body top to bottom and replied “Why, am I coming apart?

As I stood at the edge of the precipice my nose began to tingle, emitting fluorescent sparks. Suddenly I left my body and as I hovered above the time track I witnessed past, present and future events simultaneously. All of creation lay before me; everything made scents to my holy proboscis, a true ‘beak-on’ of truth. Henceforth I became known as ‘Nostrildamus,’ He who nose all.

I knew something was slightly awry this morning when I woke up and found myself singing ‘You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman.’

I welcome your opinion as long as you don't make any suggestions.

Saints are not immune to the wide spectrum of human ailments. I am presently writing a short story about a great soul, a pilgrim of peace, who suffered from frequent bouts of flatulence. He transformed this curse into a benefit by propelling himself across an entire country on a cloud of methane. It’s been quite a gas writing it. The working title is ‘Gandhi with the Wind.’

I am getting sick and tired of having to take responsibility for my own actions. Is anyone in the mood for taking on a little blame?

Being hung up on the past is like looking over your shoulder and staring at your a*s. You can’t see where you’re going and no matter how long you stare at it, it’ll never be what it’s ‘cracked up’ to be. What a bummer eh?

It is hilarious that some who profess to be able to predict the future and others who say that they can see into the past don’t even have a clue what’s going on right now.

Life could be likened to a cow. It always seems greener on the ‘udder’ side and there’s an never-ending stream of bull to contend with.

I can’t remember much of what he was talking about. I think it was advice on how to be a good listener.

Human beings are living proof that God has an incredible sense of humor.

What a shock it was to observe my gentle-natured vegetarian friend as he unleashed a flurry of violence today. I watched in horror as he poked the potatoes in the eyes, yanked the corn by the ears, squeezed a head of lettuce and tore the heart out of an artichoke.

Holy horse plop! I just realized that I have spent my entire life getting to where I am right now! What a trip!

I am sure there are many good reasons for reason but for some reason I just can’t come up with any right now. Am I being unreasonable?

A recent survey suggests that pregnancy is a leading cause of childbirth.

After studying polygamy for several years I came to the conclusion that there are too many sides to consider.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

This was amazing chapter. You made me laugh. I like the way you look at life in this story. You say what I want to say. No weakness in this chapter. Just fun and outstanding reading. Thank you.
Coyote

[Vaidehi]

Hilarious!!! Loved it!

[Sri Gawn Tu Fahr]

I appreciate your loving feedback (((❤)))

[LA Lorena]

Roaring here, picturing you singing "Natural Woman". This is a hysterical look at some great one-liners. You are completely warped and twisted, I like that in my friends! :)

[Lilly Negoi]

:)) *smiling here"

[Sukriti Suki]

Some parts of this cracked me up!! I loved can I join you...except for being really hilarious some lines in this really made me think. enjoyed this!!