Identity Crisis

Just something that came to me after months of job hunting...

IDENTITY CRISIS

 

 

Who Are You?

Please state your full name, including your maiden name and street address.

 

What Nationality are you?

Please select one of the following:

Causasian/white

Asian/Oriental

Latino/Hispanic

Native American/what tribes, please list.

African American

Combo of one or more.

 

What is your age range?

18-21

21-30

30-40

40+

Unspecified

 

Are you male or female?

Please state which one you are.

Male

Female

 

Please state any skills/interests that you have that pertain to the position you are applying for.

Math

Reading

Customer Service

Other

 

Please state which languages you speak and write in fluently besides English.

French

Spanish (which dialect)

Finnish

Swedish

Creole

German

Portegese

Piglatin

 

Do you have reliable transportation to and from work?

Please state the vehicle model, type of vehicle, color.

Ford

Saturn

GM

Honda

Hyundai

Chrysler

Kia

VW

Mazda

 

Are you married or single or widowed or divorced?

Please state your marital status.

 

When are you available for report for work?

Please signify the date you are available and the days/hours you are willing to work.

Sunday                 Tuesday                            Thursday                        Saturday

Monday                Wednesday                       Friday                             Sunday

 

 

 If you have chosen more than one answer per question, then you really do have an identity crisis.

 

This is just a satirical work of fiction based on all the crazy application forms that I have filled out over the past several months.

 

Written by

Sue Therese Boone 9/16/08

 

Author's Note

just poking fun at the stupid application forms for jobs.

Reviews

[Bear]

This is hysterical!! And oh so freakin' true (I suppose) but, I haven't had to fill out an application form in gee, 10 years, I believe. Seems like I was 33 when I lost my last good job only to find our a year later that it was MS that was the real reason behind me losing my job. ;~)

Oh, I've been a busy camper tonight! Moved my patio table, 2 patio chairs, the umbrella and stand, four metal trash cans of various sizes with bird suppiles within, a little table and the grill that sits upon it, the little plack plastic garden fences to go along the patio fence line to keep the leaves from blowing in on the cement patio pad, and I got all of that in place with I think enough room to place the flower bin when the time comes to move it. Think that was enough? Yes, it was but, I also took down four birdfeeders and pulled up the bird feeder and made six trips moving those items and then I had to remove the screw hooks from the trees on which the support pole rests so I could put them into the new location trees. All of the assemble I was doing after the sun when down... using my mini-mag light if I needed to see the details. Yes, I am a tired camper tonight... and I'll definitely take a long warm shower before bed tonight or I might not be able to move tomorrow. ;~) Enjoy your weekend... Monday will arrive to soon for thee!! Sallie Bear

[Michael X]

This is absolutely humorous, I love the idea, as well as the complex ease,
very fun to read Susan, your craftiness shone through, I'm still
laughing at the punctuating remarks, as well the meaning in whole. brilliant.

[larryb]

so funny lol

[Nely Amorim]

well aren't they bloody nosey..lol I've taken a few interviews and i think this is funny because most times this kind of information should be available in a comfortable conversation. great read tho.

PS and only because I'm Portuguese myself..lol you spelled it wrong hehehe

[Wicahpi]

It's funny Susan because I just got a 2nd job that I start on Monday (need the money) and
I left half of it blank. lmao I'm serious...I am who I am! I live in a small town, where every one
knows every one, pretty much. If you don't know me by now, then forget about it. Stupid questions,
even more so at the age of 45. Hire me, or don't. She did! LOL