Memoirs

It's 12 :14 am it's rainy out. Got in a about an hour ago.I went to watch the Colombia vs Argentina match. It was exciting,emotionally battling with intensity.But my mind was distracted..just as the last year. I wondered what he was doing.Despite the fact that I assume he never cared. Flash backs of our walks were on my mind.How he'd hold me hand and hug me from behind.How I'd kill to have those moments with him again,but he chose her and that's the end of the game.I feel the rain,it's coldness on my body,constrasting with my bloody heated heart.It wasn't supposed to be serious,I knew that from the start. Nevetherless,it happened that first day,and from then nothing he did got in my way. The latins were dancing and so was I.But then I sat down and paused for awhile. My man whom I had when he was here,losing him I forever feared. I wanted him to fight for us,to change and continue long distance..but I couldn't be selfish and he chose another part. Everytime I thing of it,it stabs my heart.I close my eyes and let the words flow because knowing him being in colombia,it gives me anxiety to go.

Things were supposed to different,but I realize life doesn't go as planned. It's just a process we all have to withstand.I remember going to parties with him and dancing together even though I was horrid.We'd be together alone and we'd speak about so much things..I just know that after so long,I'm not losing faith,for it is what the future will bring. My body is heavy,yet empty it feels.My heart yearns for him..I have lost my zeal.