Loving and losing

These hot tears that flow down..every day and night.Ironically,because of love..something that is supposed to be good and happy.But it's too much bs. It eats me inside everyday...because it is one day less,one minute more to treasure to love him.He who cannot value what I feel for him.He who can forget me,he who can move on.He whom I give my every ounce of love,passion and attention.So why is he worth it? Maybe he isn't..maybe I will never  see him again.I need to get this in my mind. I will be forgotten,I will be erased..maybe that is what I need to remember.To help me heal,to help me move on. I know nobody is perfect,at the same time,I remember all the flaws,bad moments..and the good times. How my life changed from last year 2013,to now.My summer is different.My life changed..all I get is the sunken feeling,of forgotten occurrences. Every walk,holding hands from the University to the Sir Arthur Lewis Hall. Every afternoon,doing homework..few kisses,limited touches and walks to catch the bus. Then late night messages.My favourite memories,my hugs and my laughs..my devil,my temptation..my jerkface. Did so much nonsense in the relationship.But so much good too..making me smile,making me look forward to school.Tobago,Paria,Colombia,everything all worthwhile.So,forgive me for my love..for the tears,for the excruiating pain of having to accept we will not spend time with each other for so many years.How you could make me hate myself.Physically,I look in disgust..because I picture you with someone so much prettier.Someone who can drink and dance and swim..who makes love.I wonder why you ever stayed with me.Why you tolerated me...what is my worth to you.Very soon,I shan't be worried about whether you're faithful or not,whether you love me or not..because we are done for good in a few weeks.You go your way and sleep around and enjoy,the thought of this kills me..but with time I will be ok. School and career..return to the path I forever steered.I have to let go,I must say goodbye..but how do I forget somebody,when all I want is for him to be mine?

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[MoriartyMesa]

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