Dilapidated love

I cannot imagine where my thoughts lie.They are all over,more profound than charcoal silver stars fading in the night sky.There was so hope and now there's none.How I reflect on our four months of utter love and fun.Now I must accept that it is over.For we may never truly get a chance to be,but he is my love,truly a part of me.For him it's different,for life goes on.He is colombian,they always smile and never mourn.What we had,was definitely real..tell that to him,let him evade hiding what he feels.It's just to tragic,that we have to end.How I count the days we have left to spend.As we speak more and more,it's the closer I feel to walk out the door.Our experiences,our happiness and tragic fate.Oh January 20th,I shall never forget that date.I love him,but the love is not enough,there's not time,destiny and of course,other personal stuff.The craze of sex,truly I hate,but he and I are different,we knew this from the very first day.I cannot help but wonder about the future.Will we ever meet,the pain that we cannot survive long distance,because with some b***h he will cheat.I think of the pain when he falls in love with another and how I will never be the one,approved by his mother.He claims he is young,but I am mature enough.The love occurs once and my feelings are impossible to stop.I cannot function,I feel as though I may not survive,I need him in my life..and wish he could be mine. Disillusioned by hopes and all these dreams,of course now..everything is not what it seems.I cannot bare the thought of him,in love with other.Casual sex? furthermore that is another bother.I thought if two people wanted it,they could make it work.But sexual desires makes the mind bezerk .For that reason,we may never last more than now,saddened by the harsh truth,I furrow my brow.The decisions to move on and let go,I have not the strength,I remember our hands in one another..each finger each length.It all felt so real and now it has to end,the pain of having him in life,is to have him just as a friend.