Agonizing

Wish there was someone to listen,better yet,someone to understand.

            The agony,the pain,

             All looking at me with disdain.

             Cannot smile,

             Dreary pessimism,strong desire to die.

              No one to understand,

                Isolated and depressed,

                    So many dreams,so little success.

Someone,anyone,hug me,I feel so alone

Only solace,dying,God and his throne.

What can I say,that's not been said,

My heart craves love,

Yet,it remains unfed.

I have friends,but none to call,

I want to scream,but I can't bawl.

They judge and they hate,

The words of others,leaving me in a distressed state.

I seek happiness,

Me,it doesn't seem to find.

Trying to be happy,but this is all just sad,

Emotions bottled up,beginning to feel mad.

I feel the eyes on me,

I feel their thoughts,

My reputation is what the french call "mort"

My decision made,tthey rebuke me as ungrateful and insane

I long for a hug,

From a stranger on the street,

Let someone make my heartbeat,

I want to feel alive,I want to smile

When will all this end,

The conflict,all the hate,

They judge me,

They stress affects my emotional state