We build machines to kill. But have we gone too far?
“How could this have happened? Oh
god, the ramifications!” the doctor muttered, a hand on his forehead as he
paced behind the glass screen. With every moment that passed dark patches
reached outwards from his armpits, as if fear itself was seeping from him. The
only sound other than his breathing and footsteps was the constant shuffling of
loose paper in the hands of Professor Humphrey. He, too, was possessed by the
fear his superior felt.
“It - it - it’s impossible, sir,
just - just impossible. I mean, ye - yesterday it was just - just -,”
“I know! I know!” the doctor
shouted, agitation dripping from every pore. He ceased his pacing and stared
through the screen. “It’s not supposed to happen. It’s just - not.”
Humphrey, who’s fear had now extended to the damage his damp
palms were causing his papers, clasped his hair and exhaled slowly. He tried to
wipe his hands on his jacket, but he only succeeded in covering them with
fibres.
“How
are we going to explain this?” the doctor muttered. “The machine was meant to kill,
not dance!”
Some ideas:
'Mad Scientist's Worst Nightmare',
'Machines Gone Wild',
'Machines, Disasters and other Mad Scientist Nightmares',
'Worst Case Scenario',
'Disaster Tango and The Machine'
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
I like worst case scenario! Thank you, I may change that.
11 Years Ago
It's yours. Great story! I laughed out loud - it was delightful and it's so hard to find things in t.. read moreIt's yours. Great story! I laughed out loud - it was delightful and it's so hard to find things in this world that 'delight'. Keep up the good work!
I love it! But why are you giving away the punchline in the title? I will admit the title made me want to read it but why not be a bit more sly with the title?
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you! I have considered changing it, but I can't think of anything catchy enough to replace it... read moreThank you! I have considered changing it, but I can't think of anything catchy enough to replace it. I do agree with you, though. I just haven't solved that problem yet...
XD Okay, this was funny. I was reading this and thought something bad had happened, and then I read that last part, and laughed. This is just awesome. Great job. :)
I find the last line a funny non sequitur, as I really can't make a reasonable link between a machine designed for killing to end up dancing. It lampoons the blockbuster movie "tight close-up on nervous faces" trope very artfully.
Loved it! The twist at the end actually made me laugh out loud.
When I read this, the first line actually inspired me to write "9 months", so I'll have to thank you for that. ;)
Thank you.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks for these comments, I'm glad I could help you! I started this a s a longer piece and never go.. read moreThanks for these comments, I'm glad I could help you! I started this a s a longer piece and never got very far, so when I saw the 180 word comp I (literally) just added the last sentence and submitted it.