I had a dream

Have you ever dreamed that you were once someone else?

I closed my mind and awakened my third eye
as I dreamed of a place from deep within me
It was a dark existence for anyone looking in
my absolute light equates to relative darkness

Silence draped over my face as if I was dead
absent of motion, time suspended into space
flesh fell from bones, like shackles from walls
and my soul was freed to roam the Universe

God had a conversation with me with no one to intercede
no priest or ministers allowed in this dream
She spoke clearly about love and fear
what we feel is from one or the other, you see

"What do you love most?" she asked
as blue crimson swirled air into lungs
my muse squeezed my hand tight
and my eyes opened to the beauty of this land
mountains that soared through clouds
the valleys that carved into ground
winds that blew awakened my skin
animals that I once named as a game
and Woman the yin of my yang

her external beauty was a spear without tip
and she bluntly caved my chest in
exquisite was her insides
emotions so rich it filled mine
and through her I found human love
it was her mind that pierced my heart
and I bleed in tones of crimson red

it was then that I felt fear set in
anger gripped my wrist
forcing my muse back in
I closed my eyes to total darkness
silence draped my face as if I was dead
I choked on the fruit I ate

"What do you fear most?" she asked
as the boy who pretended to be her
dressed up as Satan a mystical bible verse
Poetic Justice has touched my thoughts
as gray smoke swirled into lungs
I stood alone with no Muse to hold
tried to hide in the darkness of my mind
but my eyes open to the blackest of hearts
revenge reigned just behind fear
Women and Men battled over perceived control
Matriarch, Patriarch, our government unfolds
religion replaced spirituality and common sense
our filthy souls worshiped idols, like...
paper money and precious gold
lust and passion over love
consumption of Oil our Earth's blood
pain and suffering over good will
I fear what Man's knowledge has done
my flesh has poisoned my love
but what I fear most
I hide in my heart

I may love myself
more than anything else
and this is why I feel separated
from the Goddess who created me

Who am I you wonder?
Why, I am Adam the first human
and I loved God before I ever loved Eve
It is my flesh that betrayed me

Author's Note

This poem story didn't start out as a poem about Adam and Eve but my Muse took over so it may need some editing. I am posting as it was given to me. And to my friend I hope you see the special dedication in this one to you.

Reviews

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

You use really well some interesting and lovely wording and your imagery is thought provoking. You have a inner and universal understanding and language. its a interesting approach on the struggles of self, love and belief. Some parts stray but other than that this is written well and a thought provoking read.

[Quinn Blackburn]

Wonderful wordcrafting! Thought provoking, vivid imagery, great flow... potent piece.

[Sarusai Hiryu]

powerful, but a little obscure in places

[Thea Fuentebella]

nice write. good choice of words and clever, too. you have a great imagination
I loved it!
thanks for sharing :)
100/100

[Zoe Jay]

I forgot to add that I feel that there is also an implicit discussion of gender values and interactions here. I think the portraying of God / Mother Earth as the ultimate power, is very deliberate. I think women are a dominating force in your life, as well as a guidance and a protection for you.... or perhaps you are saying that they should be. Women and men fight for perceived control.... how accurate! I think you are really bringing out the more interesting aspects of the Adam / Eve story here - not just our relationship with knowledge, but the representation of Eve as Adam's folly. Fleshly women as competition, almost, for the purity of men's souls. Here, females are both the downfall, and the salvation. Very interesting writing!

[Zoe Jay]

This is great. I love the unusual portrayal of God as female... the nature references throughout the poem make me think of your God here being portrayed as Mother Earth (which is all the same to me), although that is not explicit, it's an excellent implied discussion of the nature and meaning of God. There are clear Christian references as well as pagan ones, so it is a great blending of religious perceptions, but given a sharp clarity... the questions raised directly in the poem are tightly focused. It is clear, here, what lies at the root of our relationship both with God, and with the Earth and our own existences - what do we love? what do we fear? These two questions can tell us everything we need to know about ourselves, both as individuals, and as a species. Absolutely A1 philosophy. I love the almost cutting insights towards the end.... our flesh betrays us. Our weakness betrays us. It is in our nature. I particularly like "I fear what man's knowledge has done".... very accurate and true. Knowledge was the forbidden fruit, and where as it brought us? What is knowledge without wisdom? It is what has brought society to this pass...
There are a lot of deep questions and issues raised in this poem. As well as a blending of Christian and pagan ideals, there is a lot of Eastern philosophy in here as well. This is everything a poem should be. It's full of meat, and I definitely have to read this again in order to do a proper analysis and actually do it justice. That's two really top notch poems I have read today, so I consider myself really lucky, thank you!

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

Nicely done. Spoken with a great deal of depth, passion and understanding. The threads of sad acceptance and truth really complete it.

[SilentDreamer]

I love this. Really creates good visuals and the ending shocks you. Nicely written.

[Hatchling]

I love it!!!!