Oh Mother!

 

 

Oh Mother!

 

I am but a letter in a crowd of letters

that huddle in line

to form your poetry

Just a pixel in your painting

 

if I were to turn white,

it may not be much,

but that emptiness would never fulfill you

 

If every drop of the ocean

thought itself unimportant-

the heart beat coursing

through streams would evanesce,

and leave a crater

on your fleshy canvas

 

Oh Mother!

 

When I look at her

mountains climb to great heights,

and I humble at the strength

to command such presence-

so demanding

so goliath

 

yet so small in the palm of your hands

with all the awe of a sunrise

birthing color to the skies

wings of possibility unfold

 

and I feel able

 

hoping only in quiet glimpses

to affect the vision of each day just the same

her influence moves the current

that moves me

 

A boiling cauldron

bubbling within

mounting pressure

waiting quietly

patiently

for that moment of

eruption

 

To be heard!

Oh to be heard!

Oh,  but you hear-

 

My mother!

 

Who gives me worthiness

As if I were worthy

 

Every crevasse takes its place

amidst the deepest canyon

every pebble in the corrie

lay like a baby in its crib

 

and I am glad to be but a freckle

on her endless expression

 

to make of it

what I wish

 

Oh Mother!

 

I will not be a blemish!

with all the capability 

you bend at my knee

I will soar high and free.

 

I will be

 

the crack in her lips

that shapes her smile

 

I will be

 

the voluptous

of her crescent body

 

Oh Mother!

Oh My Mother!

 

Together we are
a force of nature

Author's Note

please please give me suggestions/opinions.. working on this as part of x-mas gift. Is it worthy??? I'm trying for a wow effect here..

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

I have to agree with DeAn here. there is that dual meaning to be found here. one that you intend to be all you can be to not just nature, but life itself. to be one of the good things about life. there is also that feeling that this is a loving, adoring piece to your own mother, one who gave you that ultimiate gift - that one of self-esteem, knowing that you are indeed worthy of all those delicious things life offers, and strong enough to weather those inevitable storms that will surely show up as well.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very worthy poem/gift. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[just is]

I am but a letter in a crowd of letters
that huddle in line
to form your poetry
Just a pixel in your painting
if I were to turn white,
it may not be much
,but that emptiness would never fulfill you

Wow! These are such amazing words here, this whole write is, You show alot devotion and you're very sincere. You are very talented, and inspired by you, keep writing always.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I would say this is beyond Wow... you really went to eternal depths of your admiration and respect... I have to say I am floored by your astounding write.

[George Love]

You are definitely onto somethine with this. I would clean up the stanzas and make them more even in length and flow. The ideas are great, just tweak the form a little and you have a great gift!

[desertraven]

very visual and expressive :) Beautiful piece.
Sandi

[fireblossom]

Passionate...devotional...loving. Powerful.

Three spelling corrections
fleshy canvus
great heights
Vesuvius cauldrons

Love to you

[DeAn]

I feel it from two perspectives. one a nature perspective. you adoring mother nature, and two a birth mother adoration. you loving the you you find in your mother.

I think you did a great job and if it is a present then I see only common grammer errors and spelling errors any online checker can fix for you. as for the creativity in it, it shines like the star of bethleham that led those three wise men to their king. keep up the great work and I feel that whoever this is intended for will love just as much, if not more as we all do here.

great job spoken! merry christmas!

-DeAn

[ATG]

You achieved the wow effect. I liked it. It was great. I enjoyed reading it. I noticed only one error that stuck out. After the second Oh mother you put an H after the word height. I think you meant to put a s. Other than that, it was a well written poem. Keep up the good work.

[John E.]

"Every crevice takes its place amidst the deepest canyon
every pebble in the corey lay like a baby in its crib."

I love those two lines. They seem so descriptive! I think this is a very good poem. Very good, indeed.