Sub Rosa Pines

 

 

My breath beats weak

in holt and release

when your thought caresses my mind in orgasmic spasms

like hot air wisping in fridged winds

I’m rejecting my vocal pros

to widen my eyes and see your growth succumb me

Oye the sweet nectar your lips leak

your sound suckles my will to speak

 

can I concede that I think of you a little more than I should?

And what would you say if I told you

I would live forever waiting to hold you?

 

by your will it be upon me

only you can set me free

 

My temptress in the dark whispers flickers of your spark

and I dance to your 'on again off again' romance

with my desire in fantasy’s foreplay  

like a lonely drifting candle

rafting in stormy seas

and unforgiving winds

dimming but never extinguished

 

I will not yield in pretense

to less than you

 

I don’t want a kiss,

don’t tell me you love me..

just a slight of hand touch

just one deep look

just a piece of me you can say you took

to awaken my faith

in a humanity that shivers bare

I want you to take me there

 

To hope for something

In all this nothing

 

Do you have the world in the palm of your hand?

may I pass with curtsey bow and raised eyebrow

In a matter-of-fact fashion

a swift shift of the eye

in pragmatical glance

half heartedly laughing

while inwardly beside myself

taken aback by that

which emanates your name

 

in ink blot

liquid motions

in pencil shavings

and

erased notions

 

wonderment in slow undress

a show that will unveil

the naked truth of me wanting you

to gesture surely my way

to speak purely my name

 

like I mean something to you

more than I do

 

more than socially permissive

 

and still i surrender this

unspoken truth

I am exposed in light of your view

 

so i dip behind curtains

in silent whispers

not meant for the ear

but my own piece of mind

"All i want is to know you.."

words and silhouttes

vanish in the corridors

just like

we never were

Author's Note

ok recently changed the title.. your thoughts appreciated.

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

like a lonely drifting candle
rafting in stormy seas
and unforgiving winds
dimming but never extinguished
I will not yield in pretense
to less than you

What superb imagery! This is a stunning example of love poetry; or rather the desire for reciprocal love. I am very much taken by your words...I can't think of a thing I would change, it's perfect.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

You are an amzing writer, no doubt. becoming one of my top favs. you def have natural raw talent, and oozes off of your words in this poem about longing, and maybe a demure woman who is too afriad to tell that other person she's in love? just my opinion. the choice of words you use, the beauty you draw with your descritpion, pulled me in. i loved it. 10/10

[just is]

This is passionate I really enjoyed this.
I could picture the whole thing.

I don't want a kiss,
don't tell me you love me..j
ust a slight of hand touchj
ust one deep lookj
ust a piece of me you can say you took
to awaken my faith
in a humanity that shivers bareI want you to take me there

Love this stanza here.
This is wonderful the way it is.

[Arthur Crow]

An epic spill of romance dressed in confidence and charm, the voice is clear, yet pulls the reader into a sense of dreamy wonder.
Very good word weaving and structure.

[R J Askew]

You write really well. This is sustained and passionate. You capture the yearning and draw the marrow from it. It's a great job. There are many glints in it that catch my eye including ... Can I concede that I think of you a little more than I should? (wonderful understatement) ... like a lonely drifting candle etc etc dimmed but never extinguished ... a swift shift of the eye in pragmatical glance ... liquid motions/erased notions ... surely/purely ... Ach, and the last verse is just oh so wistful. The poem also made me think how delightful it must be to be the subject of such a well-articulated flame of desire. One can only imagine how said subject would feel were said to ever read this.

[Anima Inspired]

in ink blot
liquid motions
in pencil shavings
and
erased notions

--Fantastic lines!

This was a very poignant and powerful piece, filled with some extremely beautiful and creative imagery. There was a true emotional depth to this piece that spoke to my own heart in terms of tragic beauty. Great flow and meter as well. Bravo!

[Pax Analog]

The contrast of "when your thought caresses my mind in orgasmic spasms" continues throughout the poem, like an angel spirit inside the body of a leopard.

The line "like a lonely drifting candle rafting in stormy seas" is an indication of what I said initially, that recurrent contrast of subtle and savage, spirit and body of nature.

Then there is the enigma of who the poet's voice is speaking to. An elusive lover? God? Both? And such simplicity in only wanting to know. . .someone. . .or the abiding truth.

However one turns the jewelled facets reflectively, this poem lives long in the mind of the reader, has a gentle afterglow -- even as lightning flashes in the background.

[Emily B]

This is amazing, Michelle. I found myself swept away by Romantic notions.

[Doug]

this is amazing! there were points while reading it where i completely left myself....wonderful writing!

-doug-

[Michael X]

I just had leave another comment- timeless and what a masterpiece of love poetry, Wow.