searching

There's so much emotion involved..

It's there - even though you can't see it.

she's hurt - oh gods, the pain is indescribable

It's like walking around with this 

impenetrable skin, stone hard, stoic

but underneath there is Legion

and they are rending me apart.

A silent battle, made evident only

by little twitches, small saline drops.

she's angry - it's nearly indescribable

this incandescent rage that burns

ever hotter, ever higher, ever brighter.

How dare you?  How dare you take the gift
she gave so willingly and destroy it with so little care?

Then there is Shame.. a bright glow at the base of it all

a little green like sickness, because it knows

it knows that she did give herself

so willingly

so wantonly. 

(I gave a piece of myself,

then I was weighed

measured

and found wanting)

Somewhere buried beneath that war 

there's the rest of her, hiding, shivering,

waiting to be cleansed in fire, doused in tears,

and Reborn.  I just worry I won't find her in time.