Broken

We sometimes wonder, how our hearts can be full, yet feel so empty. Many a time, our pain, we thought long lost, is just there; under the surface, scratching to get out and be remembered. It is this pain, that burdens us with sorrow and heaviness. Makes us depressed and slow moving. To burden us with slowness and emptiness, to make us feel helpless and lost.

 This pain, which we hide so well, can rear its ugly head and make our masks slip. and our true feelings show; through the briefest of moments. Many a time, I carry within my heart, such heavy burdens as to drag me down and make me slow. And I am at a loss, for no one can really, truly hear my suffering, let alone see it. 

My pain, is dug so deep, that I forget myself at times, and allow my mask to slip ,or worse, crack; and my true self is revealed....scarred, and hollow.

 I am, to the naked eye, an open book, but many "readers" do not see the true words written on my page. They choose, to see what is falsely written; for I cannot let any in, for fear of finding my heart, what little there is left, to be shattered and thrown to the wind. To any who ask, certain questions with which they read from my story, I answer without hesitation, for perhaps I may find a similar shattered soul just like mine, who seeks comfort from a fellow sufferer. 

I will never truly be rid of my burdens, nor will they ever lighten and allow me to live in peace. I can never truly forget or move fully forward. I can hide it well, the pain. And allow those around me to see happiness and think it is true. But inside, I am screaming, wishing for understanding....And for that similar soul who is also shattered, to come touch mine, and share with me my pain.....and truly understand that which is me.

Author's Note

This is not for the feint of heart