Chapter One

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

    Running. Running. That’s all I could think of to do. I had to find this young wolf fast before he decides to do something stupid or worse he might accidentally expose himself to someone and get killed. I know the goddess looks out for all her children of the night especially those who walk the path of the moon. I just hope she is looking over this young wolf and I hope I am not to late.

   About three hours after I set out I pick up his scent he is closer than I thought but further than I expected. I pick up my pace not slowing down until I basically run into him. I stop and stare in the eyes of the missing Animungus Lupu. I change into my half form and tell him to come with me that I have been searching for him for a long time. He doesn’t move instead he attacks me.

       He leaps at me and try’s to clamp his jaws shut around my throat I dodge and leap at him. I jump in the air part way but come down on him full wolf. I snarl and growl at him as I bury my teeth in his scruff making him yelp. I back off hoping I don’t have to injure him further. He lunges at me and bites down on my outstretched arm. I yelp in pain but I shake him off, as he lands on his back I pin him down with my weight. I bring down my jaw and snap it shut on his muzzle making him swallow a yelp. He shook furiously trying to shake me off but I kept my grip. He finally manages to get me off when one of his paws swipes my eye forcing me off. As soon as I regain my sight I lunge for his throat I miss on purpose but I grab the back of his neck and hold him down. I work my way around him and finally lay on top of him until he settles down. He formed a mouth and said, “If I listen to you will you please get off?” I nod my head and get off. As soon as I am off I form into my half wolf half human form. I finally reached him.

Reviews

[Mel Stevens]

Check your tenses, you change from past to present. Also, with your sentences, this time break the action, maybe with a comma.
Example:
About three hours after I set out I pick up his scent he is closer than I thought but further than I expected.
About three hours after I set out, I picked up his scent; closer than I thought, but still further than I expected.
I changed some of the tense in the sentence as well, picking past tense.
I must say, I'm interested to see what happens...

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Well, that is a way to make first contact.

"I bring down my jaw and snap it shut on his muzzle making him swallow a yelp."

I love that line! "Swallow that!"

-Gabe