Why?
Why do we cry when we are hurt?
Why do we run from what we fear instead of facing it?
Why do we get depressed when the one you love breaks your heart?
Why are we sad when we feel as though we have angered the ones we love?
I'll tell you why.
We cry because the pain built inside wants to be released.
We run because we don't want to grow stronger, we want to stay away from that moment when it will end.
We get depressed because you loved that person more than ever and they tore your heart away and took it with them.
We feel sad because we want to make the love of our lives happy, and when they are angered you feel as though you have failed them. You feel ashamed.
Thats how I feel. Ashamed....angering the one I love and then feeling nothing the next day. Feeling nothing in his words but a dull coldness that can chill your bones. I have never felt so alone when yet I'm surrounded by many. I never felt so sad when talking to him yet I did today. I never thought that I could feel this way around him. And it scares me. It feels like the coldness that crept up my spine when he told me his nightmare....of us breaking away from one another. Could it be coming true? Will it strike with its deathly claws and hold us in its grip?
I don't want to lose him. He and my writing is all thats holding me together here in this hellish prison that I live in. Without his love I fear that I will finally shut down.......for good.
Maybe I should be put down like the animal that I am.
One tear runs down my cheek.
I am like a wilting rose, slowly dying of the sadness that is built up inside.