Trapped in Though

These are just musings

Thoughts of depression

There are times when feelings of pain and depression become too much and thoughts of sadness and darkness washes your heart into chaos. Not one person or thing can make it better, even the one closest to your heart. At these times one must just sit down and ponder why. Why the sadness and pain. Why the feeling of hopelessness and loss. Why must such times descend upon us and create such gaps in our hearts and mind to the point of being lost in oblivion? Why can't those we hold dearest to us not be able to break the wall of darkness that shrouds us completely? Not even love can pierce a hole in this shrouded wall, and it makes one feel alone...even if surrounded by others. A silent cry for help does nothing beneath an impenetrable wall of darkness and only pain and sorrow can drown us deeper into the pit which has manifested itself beneath us, plunging us further and further into its deep depths until we are gone completely. How do we escape it even for a moment to gain a breath of air?

 

Thoughts of Love

Love is a hard thing. It is so cruel yet beautiful at the same time. it can make you or break you. Love hurts, all the time; for we live in constant fear for the day we learn that we aren't together but alone. We live in fear that he/she is not the right one and that they will hurt us so bad, that we can never move on.....living with that fear forever. Love, is demonic with its traitorous ways yet sweet caress at the same time. But don't EVER forget that there is always someone around you who will always love you, whether they be family, a friend, or a lover....or a mixture of the two or three. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THOSE WHOM I SAY I LOVE! Do not ever forget this. We all need love, I will always provide that love, even if I do not have it myself.

Thoughts of Depression (Cont.)

            Depression hurts, and can make a person feel so unwanted, not needed, and of no use. A person suffering from it might not be seen, and I want to let you know that it is real and that it hurts....Depression can be so strong that life seems not to matter, and perhaps death and elimination is a better solution.....Lack of love during these times make it more true, and people who feel it can do the most unusual and unwanted things...remember that...it hurts and its real, and it may become the result of death.................

 

Apologizing without the use of apologies, sorry, or regret

I feel deeply for what has happened. I know that in my heart of hearts, nothing can be truly done that could warrant forgiveness. Though I do hope that some will be given to me anyway. My condolences for this grievous of times that I have caused