My Immortal Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major f*****g hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Reviews

[L. C. Rhodes]

Read this story...wondered if it was a troll. Looked at your profile...knew it was a troll. That being the case, this is truly entertaining. I honestly got a good giggle out of it. The only thing I will say is that your true skill shines through sometimes, but I don't think anyone can completely cover their own writing style.

[Gabriella]

This could possibly be the worst literature (though I feel it is an insult to literate writers to use that word about this) I have read. The character development is awful and the story is predictable and frankly rather unrealistic as well as painful.
The character of Draco Malfoy holds no common elements to the character created by the original author and neither does situation and environment. There is no discernible interesting plot line other than the romantic fantasies of an immature 12 year old girl, though I have to say I know 12 year old children with more sense in their head than you apparently have. I have read some terrible and childish things but this takes the cake. Please never write again for the sake of humanity.

[Ammy]

This.. this is hilarious. I love how you describe your outfit more than the characters. I can already tell that I'm probably gonna hate it :)

[kikicity]

its good keep adding to it

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

In all honesty I think it needs to be longer 'cause no offence but this doesn't really make me want to read on, but I will to see if it gets better.

[Cody Wiggins]

No it sux im playin good start