Words are fickle

When you see that I'm stuck,get me out. Don't pretend you never saw me.

One moment I'm deep in the water,

i'm tip-toing on the border of my terrace the next.

Some are there to care a little,

no one to care enough .

The air is pure , the vibe but toxic.

The words are fickle,

the intentions but mettalic.

The hand to help me out from the water is wavering.

The push, but intent.

I tried to be righteous,

my knees but bent.

I was sailing across the shores of hell one moment .

And now,

to the paradise i'm sent.

Author's Note

Here's a short poem .Do let me know what you think about this .I've tried something different this time.

Reviews

[T.S. Ulmus]

I read it through four times, can't say I'm sure what it's about, but can't say that I care for understanding. It reads like slow jazz, it's a beautiful piece that uses words to paint an emotion. You did an amazing job defining something only by its edges. I'd like to read a lot more by you, it seems that you're free-writes would be magnificent, pure emotion and expression.

[Ankita Dwivedi]

Mind can be a very dark and dangerous organ,sometimes.Sometimes,it holds on to a thought and it can go to any point to feed the thought .i am delighted by your words and really hope that i never dissapoint you .
love,Ankita

[T.S. Ulmus]

You could never disappoint me. Spill your words, refine them if you must, a true poet bleeds emotion into words. As long as you are true you will create beautiful works.

[Kirsty Hignett]

Words are fickle... And the duality of this poem expresses that wonderfully. The juxtaposing ideas of heaven and hell, being deep in water- I imagine on the brink of sinking but in the next moment being on dry land.. To me, that is what it's like to live with demons. To live with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.

And the expression of words being fickle how people care a little but not enough is perfectly apt in this idea of the meaninglessness of words. People always say they are there but when it comes to truly proving that? It often proves to be just talk. Everyone is there until it counts. We can all be guilty of it, even if we try to not be and that is the harshness of reality.

However I like that this poem ends with paradise as its last visual trigger. This affirms the idea that no matter how many times you feel like you are slipping- there is always hope and that hope can come in many forms. Be that the rare occasions someone does fully offer help in even the tiniest way or in the comfort that not every moment is spent in darkness.

Overall I would say on the surface this. Poem seems small and simplistic- but when you really delve into its duality and its imagery there's so much said in so few words which again, hones in on the title itself because so much remained unspoken but could be said. 'words are fickle'. Its beautiful.

[Ankita Dwivedi]

you interpret it brilliantly , thanks for visiting :)

[Kirsty Hignett]

You are more than welcome, I enjoyed reading and delving into it 😊

[VelvetPotato]

I really love this poem, it is so thought provoking and also fun to read!

"The air is pure , the vibe but toxic.
The words are fickle,
the intentions but metallic."

I love the juxtaposition between the pure air and toxic vibe. I feel that this is true with social media often. Everyone tries to act like their life is the best, when their intentions are metallic, trying to one-up everyone else.
The truth is people's lives aren't ever as good as they seem, and that contrast breeds toxicity.

[Ankita Dwivedi]

thank you for this amazing review !! hope you are keeping well .
XO

[Rose]

I love how this is written! I love how it makes the feel of the whole poem come to life, as if that ocean of the mind could wash right out of my screen and fill my room! Lovely imagery. Lovely style. I hope you have a day as amazing as yourself!

[Ankita Dwivedi]

Thank you dear rose... Glad you like my world.. Many thanks for paying a visit..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

People often SAY they care, and yet their actions show little interest.
It is easy to make statements but more importantly is to back them up.
j.

[Akshay Rawal]

Finding a corner of solace in a world full of maddening amounts of orientations can sometimes be hard. There could be many reasons for which people would care, but a selfish intent involved makes it transactional and stifling when it comes to being truly honest and vulnerable. Mind does wander and wonder where the nook of relaxation and comfort is, amidst all these relationships that seem charitable on the front but are always on the verge of being transactional. Thanks for sharing this piece :)

[John Cardwell]

Nice one Ankita!
Form: It feels like a journey, calm at first, then the waters rise and the middle is a *harsh section of river which relents and calms depositing her into a beautiful secret spot. Very cool.
(*The harsh section of river= "but toxic fickle intentions but metallic but intent but bent" great pace and a cool syncopated rhythm. The “ck”s “t”s “b”s are hard, forcing a slowing of progress. But we have been kayaking recently and that may be affecting my interpretation. :) ]
Favorite lines & my 2 cents.
“ I tried to be righteous, my knees but bent.” ?The difficulties of trying to be ladylike in the midst of a kerfuffle perhaps?, a marvelous sentence, excellent character reveal.
" The hand to help me out from the water is wavering. The push, but intent." What a terrible feeling that must be! Well presented. It begs the reader to ask WHY?
And my favorite………“Some are there to care a little, no one to care enough .” Great human insight. Occasional sad truth. Pithy line!
Thanks for sharing!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Interesting use of push-pull-you as the dilemma of this persons situation wavers between needing rescuing and being independent.

[bookishmuggle]

I'm not sure what it was about (I'm sure it's just me I'm not great at interpreting poetry) but I like the rhymes and rhythm :) You had a solid ending.

[Coyote Poetry]

The dancing of emotion. We can find sadness and happiness in the same minute. I liked the honest tone of the words. Thank you Ankita for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I enjoyed reading this poem. The rhyme and meaning link well and it's all understandable. tyfs

[Ankita Dwivedi]

oh! thanks for visiting .Glad you got the meaning , a few poets had trouble understanding what it's about .i thought i made it too complex..
Love, Ankita