Mad For Coffee

When I look at a person, I didn't really look at them... I looked passed them and into their past mistakes..

When I talked to them I wasn't really talking to them, I was talking to their soul.

They all look at me weird, like i'm some kind of monster or something, but im not I just need my coffee. They say i'm a monster and should be put up.. I will just show them how gruesome I can get.. I'm me and I'm immortal staying among the living.

I walk into the building I work at and they all stare at me, It gets on my nerves. I've worked here for years and i'm tired of this life.. I'll just kill them and move somewhere warmer who cares humans are overpopulated anyways.

As the day fades away and the sun dies down, the moon says hello, I walk out of the building and the lights go out. Now I can finally be me… my hair grows long and thick and my nails grow long and dark, my eyes roll back and I shift into what I really am. I feel the warm blood of a person I work with drip from my hands. A flicker of light shows what i've done and they all run screaming and the rooms go dark once more but the screams don't let up. When the moon is lowered and the sun rises I walk out of the building I once worked at.. But not anymore. I should have had my coffee this morning...

Author's Note

Just wanted to write a fun and new story I dont think ive written anything like this before let me know how you liked it and what I needed to improve please.

Reviews

[ZakLeonRamsey]

I liked it because it is how it is in the real world. I think this poem displays how people get addicted to coffee. And how you write "People think I'm a monster, I'm not, I just need my coffee", that perfectly displays that state of addiction where you just want and want and want that thing you are addicted to and people think you're some sort of a monster. It is perfectly realistic to how anybody would see somebody who's addicted. I can clearly see you've spent a great amount of time into this. Not a REALLY REALLY long amount of time, but way more time than a few minutes that you could finish a rushed poem in. Like I said, the "monster" thing. You can describe how a person is looked at once they are addicted to something such as coffee or alcohol. I have noticed you have described the reactions of the workers in the workplace perfectly, in my opinion. You said they "stared at me", (or something similar). How the addicted person becomes a little different to everybody else that hasn't been addicted to anything. Like I said, you are really good at expressing emotions and how the addicted person feels. After saying all this, I feel like an English teacher marking a Sixth Form's creative writing exam: "Good use of personification as well, like what the moon says, you are also good at that as well. You're really good at this sort of thing, I can clearly see.Moving on, just a little recommendation. I think that you should change the text size. Nothing much, the poetry is still awesome and touching, but I don't really want to scroll down for a short poem. It is unnecessarily large. Apart from that, great poem. :) I think you should make more.

[Desiree O'Neal]

Thank you so much for your detailed review, I'll make the words a bit smaller, I haven't really taken that into consideration so I appreciate you telling me about it.

[ZakLeonRamsey]

No problem. Can't wait for your next masterpiece.