The Gay Vampire

A Story by SpeedOfTaste

The republicans got it wrong. No, not the religious thing that if you go against the word of God he will turn you into a condiment. They got the Gay thing wrong.

They thought being gay was a choice. Those people wanted to live a devious lifestyle. Roller blading and owning a cat were things they wanted to do.

The scientists caught him along the coast of California. His name is Steven. He was caught in a net by ornithologists doing research on seagulls. Drunk on appletinis, he didn't see the net.

Being the first vampire caught in recorded history wasn't strange enough. The strange thing was his bite turned you gay. He is the root of gayness. Evidence of this was noted observing the ornithologist who was bitten by Steven now having a heavy appetite for salads and sushi.

The rest is quite sad. The United States used Steven as a biological weapon in the middle east. Another example of human exploitation of a species.

© 2012 SpeedOfTaste

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Reviews

Baby Ricochet

OMG that's to funny. Love it!!

Posted 12 Years Ago

KAOlmsted

*laugh* But you know his name should be Stephen...not Steven ;-)

This is really cute, and, by poking fun at some of the ridiculous stereotypes, not even a little bit offensive, so good job there. I imagine men who own cats will have a thing or two to say, but I'm pretty sure it's the cumulative actions of owning a cat, roller blading, drinking appletinis, and eating salad and sushi that makes men gay...not just the cat, right?

:-D

I also find it interesting, in the first paragraph you capitalized Gay but not republican *laugh* Passive aggressive much?

Love this.
-kimmer