Hearts on tightropes and tripies

Chapter one

How can we believe in something that has no hope itself? Put your faith in it hoping that it can move mountains but when you finally bite your nails down to the quick, you realize you wasted your time. You don't sleep because you don't know if you would ever be able to wake up in the morning because believeing in something is all that kept you dreaming. Love is the only thing keeping you alive now, and when that's gone, do you die? Like when you stop believe in santa clause and loving him because of all the toys he leaves you turns out to be a big hoax, does he die? Just like a boy, when he stops loving you because he realizes that theres something better, do your insides turn out from your bellybutton and rip your soul out?
    I want to be someones last phonecall of the night and their first thought when waking up, even in the hours in between.I want to give them the love and hope to move on when all eles fails and the alcohol is gone. I wan't to be the only person to beable to make you happy and I want to be the only girl who you call baby. I want to be able to lay in your arms and steal your kisses that are so bitter sweet. Bitter because I know you've shared those kisses before me and sweet because I will be the last girl that will get them because you actually consided me yours.
    I realize I want all this stuff, but I'm not ready for commitment. I'm not ready to stand in that church and say I do in that white dress because really, I will be saying " yeah I will throw my life away for you to pop out babys and sit at home eatting hotpockets because I didn't finish highschool." I'm so scared that if I were to get married, someone better would come along and all I could do it sit there and drownd my husband out while the real man of my dreams walks across the room staring at me because he feels it too. I don't want that to happen, I want to be able to tell my future kids, " hey, your father actually made me happy and you weren't an unplanned mistake!"
    I got to admit, I don't want the tall dark and handsome man on a white horse to climb up my hair and save me, I'll settle for a red horse tho. I don't want a storybook romance, I want one that's so on the spur of the moment that it's crazy and burning with passion. I understand he will push my buttons, but will make up for it later in an apologetic way only I would admire. Someone to count winkles with when I'm getting old, and someone to count my smiles by the minute. Raw love and nothing less. Love that's worse than a cut on your arm with salt and love that is sweeter than life itself.
    I want a list that hits the ground when I think of all the nice thing you do for me, because trust me I couldn't forget a single one. Write me a song when I'm an emotional wreck and make me soup when tummy hurts. Beable to kiss me infront of your friends and to introduce yourself to mine. I want to hear the people walking behind us talk about how they wish for what we have, and have true love that can start a movement. To show the world that true love isn't dead and that romance wasn't invented by the hallmark company just like halloween was. Love can't make you money but it can make you happy.
    Maybe you think I am way in over my head and that I'm giving my hopes up with setting my standards to high, but how will I ever know uless it actually happens. How will I know to give up unless I acutally breakdown. Maybe we are ment to put our hearts on the line and walk over sky scrappers knowing theres a posibillity of falling but knowing if we survive, it's going to be worth it. Every time you walk outside your door you are risking getting a cold, getting shot or even getting ambushed by a group of people you don't even know, so what's the difference? Either way you know there is a chance for failure, why not just go for it because wouldn't you rather rip off the bandaid now instead of waiting for it to creep up on you when your not ready and pull out every hair it can take along with it?     
    Please, Don't compare your life to a movie. All they teach you is that you don't always get what you want, but you come pretty close. Movies are made so that you can step out of your boring life and step in to someone eles's for about two hours and by the end of it, your either left crying or wishing you were them and you were happy. You've got to make happiness for yourself, and who ever said it was an illustion to be happy was an idiot and isn't happy because they spent their life looking for reasoning and found nothing. Hearts act on reasoning even if we can't see it ourselfs. Our hearts are like hurricanes, they are unpredictible but always go where places are the warmest.
    When your heart gets broken, fix it yourself. Don't think one second that another prince charming is going to come along and pick up the pieces. You gotta be able to fight for what's yours and if it's handed to you give it back. You don't want to go your whole life telling the story to everyone you meet that it was love at first sight. Sometimes you gotta wake up from the dream to realize it can really happen in real life and it isn't just your mind shooting out random thoughts.

Reviews

[Tymme]

There's a lot going on here, and a lot of feeling behind it... but it's lost in the presentation. It's hard to follow because of the way it's presented... like trying to say too much in a single breath. Maybe a more poetic approach with more spacing, bold emphasis on strong thoughts, etc.?

[E. M. Murren]

I like your philosophy here. There are some typos... you might want to spell check if you have word or some other program which offers it. Other than that it is a good opening to your work. It is interesting and well thought out.

[A.J. Smith]

This is a nice piece of heartfelt writing...you have a gift for expressing your personal, emotional thoughts in a very readable manner. Thanks for sharing.

[Andrew Augustine]

Halloween wasn't invented by the hallmark company but aside from that, there are allot of good thoughts in this one piece though not really put together. I should probably read the next chapter before jumping to that conclusion though. Good piece.

[M J Moore]

I followed this easily enough, perhaps because for a long time, I was a girl having similar thoughts to this myself. It's written with a voice that seems to be trying to convince herself of the words too, if just a smidge. It's the sound of a girl telling a man what she wants out of him, and why he's not the one who's for her after all. Knowing what she wants, and realizing who she wants most likely isn't going to give that to her. I found it an interesting read that could turn into so much. Perhaps if you played with the content, like Tymme suggested, played with the form and see what you could develop out of it. If nothing else, turn it all into a story, an actual story, so the reader can get the back story as well.... or maybe you're using this as an intro. I guess we'll have to see. I enjoyed the read.

mj