Why are you always like this?

There she laid, 

Her back pressed against the cold grass, 

Her eyes, glassy and focused on the sky. 

"Why are you always like this?"

Her answer soft and disconnected, like an automated response,  

"Because when I'm like this, I don't have to feel anything else. It's easier being high then facing all of that bullshit."

Her body hadn't moved, she just laid there starring at the sea of stars above us. 

"Is it really that bad..?" 

She turned and looked at me with a face that could bring only absolute sorrow.

"What would you do if everyday two parts of you fought one another, there's part one of you that wants to live and thirst for life, for adventure. Then there's part two. Now this part doesn't feel anything anymore, the only time it does it brings you just the overwhelming numbness and all you want to do is die. Only to see that the part of you that wants to die gets stronger everyday and slowly started winning, you start to lose yourself, telling yourself it's not. Wouldn't you want to run away from that?" 

In that moment I saw her in a way I had never seen anyone before.

I wasn't looking at some stupid teen. I was staring at a beautiful mess of a women who has to fight just to live everyday, whose only release was being on something that made her world a little more bearable.  

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Good morning, I see you are online right now and so I decided to read another one of your poems and ended up rereading this one of yours..
So once again I was pulled into your sad story... and, again I do feel that this is a very good short story.
I like writing too... and sometimes my poems end up being stories..
Lisa, early in Spain

[NovaeSpes]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read a piece of mine, I quite appreciate that! I also know some pieces I start with the intention of a poem but then I just get lost in writing and it ends up like these, story-like things. I hope you're enjoying your day! - Novae

[Lisasview]

Glad you saw my review and are not offended by what I said...but being honest when leaving a review...is so important..
Lisa

[Lisasview]

I noticed that you write stories and to be quite honest this really felt like part of a story and I did like it..
It just did not feel like a poem..if that makes sense.
I always like being 100% honest when I review...
As I said I did like your words.
Lisa, now in Spain

[Kim S.]

i found this as a struggle, kind of relatable as well, heart touching toward the end.
wonderfully expressed....

[Abhishek]

Its Really an heart touching poem ❤❤
Keep it up

[NovaeSpes]

Thank you so much for taking time to read it and say something!

[Abhishek]

Always welcomed

[Chris]

The hardest part of viewing this one is the reality of having been there and knowing what comes ...firsthand.

[HeartBreakHotel]

I can definitely relate . Nice , two parts hit home for me .

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This felt so relatable to me! We, most of the times are torn between the struggles of life.. Part of us wanting to die while the other is too curious to know where fate would lead us. Beautiful perspective given here. Good work ☺