Chapter One

With the bass thumping in his ears and the humidness of the room suffocating him, Blaez scowled and reached out for the bottle of Jack Daniel’s that he had sitting on the table his a*s was parked by. Completely ignoring the glass the waitress had given him, he lifted the bottle by the neck and brought it to his lips, chugging down a good portion of the contents. The alcohol slid down his throat and settled warmly in his chest.

Exhaling in appreciation, he wiped the access liquid off his lips with the sleeve of his jacket. He slammed the bottle back down on the table and looked out at the bodies that were writing on the dance floor.

So Larentia wanted him to think better of himself, huh? Well, that wasn’t going to happen. He could, however, make himself feel better in the physical sense. Or so he kept telling himself.

His eyes searched the females of the club he frequented. He’d take anyone that wouldn’t make him think of…Embry. His hand balled into a fists and he squeezed his eyes shut, grunting at the shot of pain that hit him square in the chest. Damn it, that had been the whole point of coming out here tonight…to not think of her, and yet here he was.

C'est la vie. That was the phrase, right? 

He kept looking around, trying to find the one female that he could…well, s**t, use. He was such an a*****e.

It was becoming too difficult. One woman would have ‘her’ hips, or another would have ‘her’ hair color. One of them even had ‘her’ nose. He sighed roughly and ran a frustrated hand down the side of his face.

“Hey, sugar,” a female voice lifted beside him and he looked between fingers that he parted slightly.

Bingo… She was perfect. She looked nothing like Embry.

He plastered a cocked grin on his face and dropped his hand, leaning back in the chair as he picked up the bottle again. “Hey, yourself,” he grunted.

Her face had looked worried for a moment, like she had thought he wouldn’t answer. But when he did, her lips spread into a toothy smile on her face that seemed like it had seen too much plastic surgery. She even dragged the tip of her tongue across her lips, looking at him like he was something to eat.

His stomach rolled with disgust with himself.

“You look like you could use some company.” She stated with confidence that was most likely fake as she pulled up a chair to his side.

He didn’t even get the chance to answer her before her hand found his knee beneath the table and slowly moved upwards. His body was stiff with discomfort, but he took a shaky breath and allowed himself to feel…nothing.

His hesitant hand went around her shoulder and he pulled her close. “Sure could,” he finally answered.

One thing led to another and he finally ended up taking her to the bathrooms in the back. It was quick, and not necessarily messy. But it left another chunk of his heart hardening beneath his chest, beating slower and slower with every breath he took.

He pulled his zipper up on his jeans and walked out of the bathroom with a bad taste in his mouth. He started to head for the front door of the club when he felt a heavy hand fall on his shoulder. Whoever it was that was grabbing him had some strength to his muscles because they were able to pull him around and shove him back against the wall hard enough that he saw stars.

His hands immediately balled into fists again and when he could see clearly once more, he stood up and got into a position to defend himself. He looked forward at the guy who had grabbed him, but he ended up having to tilt his head…way back, just to see the guy’s face.

He grinned wide. Finally, this evening provided some entertainment to get his mind off of his own s**t. “Can I help you?” He smirked.

“Shut up, a*****e! Do you f**k every woman you see and not even think about if they’re with someone?” The guy practically growled and straightened his shoulders, as if he wasn’t tall enough already.

Maybe he was compensating for something, Blaez chuckled.

“Oh, are you with Barbie?” He pointed at the woman as she finally walked out of the bathroom, a dizzy look of satisfaction on her face. “Poor girl…do you even satisfy her?”

That did it. The guy let out something between a growl and a yell before throwing his massive fist at Blaez’s face, but he was able to duck in time and his fist slammed into the wall.

Not even a hint of pain touched his face. The guy was huge. It’d probably take forever for him to even get a little bruise. Blaez grinned again…he loved a good challenge.

Jumping down to roll behind the guy, he stood up and came at him from behind, using his shoulder and all the strength he had to shove the guy into the wall. He had been hoping to throw him off balance or something, but the guy reached behind and grabbed him by the back of his neck. He yanked Blaez around but he struggled to get a good hold of him.

Blaez cursed and was able to maneuver himself out of the hold he was in. He reached over and grabbed the nearest chair, smashing it against the guy’s head. That was what started the bar fight. Various yells echoed in the room and the fists started flying. Blaez kept grinning as he jumped in and joined.

Fifteen minutes later, red and blue lights flashed across the walls of the bar and he let out another curse, mainly because he just knew who it would be coming inside to stop the fight.

He wasn’t wrong.

Keiran burst through the front door of the place with a couple of other cops at his side. He tried hiding, despite the fact that it emasculated him, but he really didn’t want to deal with the guy right now. Keiran and the cops went around roughing people up to get them to quit fighting and he watched to make sure he wasn’t seen.

He failed horribly.

Keiran turned just as he was making a run for the back door. “Blaez?”

S**t, he thought. He stopped in his spot; his shoulders fell in defeat. “Yeah,” he muttered and waited for the male to walk over to him. He tensed as he felt his presence right behind him.

“Did you start this?”

“No…”

“That’s bullshit. I know you.”

Blaez’s brows furrowed and he glared over his shoulder. “Look, he started the fight between the two of us, but I didn’t start this whole damn thing, and I don’t give a damn if you believe me or not.”

Keiran’s face twisted with reluctance and he pulled out a pair of handcuffs. As he put them on his wrists, he cursed under his breath. “I never thought I’d have to do this…”

Blaez didn’t say a word as Keiran led him to his car and helped him into the back seat.

The drive to the police department was silent except for the random times that Keiran would growl in frustration. Blaez just shook his head and looked out the window, letting his mind wander for once.

He should have died four weeks ago when Robert had shot him. His death would have been honorable. He would have died protecting his alpha and his alpha’s mate. What other kind of death could a wolf shifter hope for?

But Keiran, the idiot, had given up his position as alpha to bring him back. He had to admit, he thought that wasn’t all that steep of a price that the goddess had offered to bring him back. Was that all he was worth? Just a position?

He grunted as the cuffs around his wrists pulled at his skin. Taking in a deep breath, he kept his eyes on the landscape they passed as they drove by and muttered under his breath. “You should have let me go.”

“You already know how I feel about this situation. I’m not going to argue with you about it again, Blaez.”

He should have died. Maybe he should have just refused to come back. He could have told the goddess that he didn’t want the life he had here. But then she would have asked him why. That was just her nature. She was just too damn curious.

He thought of the conversation he and Keiran had the night he had come back, once all the shifters had come home and rested after the fight.

“Why did you bring me back? What did you give up?” Blaez had growled at Keiran, shoving him back with a violent push.

Keiran grunted and gripped his arms. “Would you just calm down for a second?”

His eyes narrowed, but he gave a stiff nod and shook himself off when Keiran let him go.

“I gave up…my position as alpha.”

He was stunned into silence. “You…what?”

“You heard me,” Keiran grunted and rubbed the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous.

“Why the f**k would you do that?”

“Because, I’m tired of you just…moping around all the time!” Keiran exploded.

“How does that have anything to do with you giving up being alpha?” He tried to remain calm, but he was quickly losing the control he’d been working up to.

“I was willing to give anything up. Do you understand that? I was willing to give up my life for yours.” Keiran jabbed his finger in his face, his voice sounding like he was accusing him of something.

“Even after meeting Luna?”

“Yes,” Keiran answered immediately. “You stuck with me through my worst times, and I’m trying to do the same for you now, Blaez. I’m trying to help you. You keep doing all this s**t to yourself for no damn reason!”

He lost it, right then and there. Blaez absolutely lost his control and his lid blew. “You have no idea why I do what I do, so you can just back the f**k off, alright?! I keep telling you; I don’t need your help, and that hasn’t changed, especially after what happened!”

Keiran’s shoulders had fallen in defeat, and he lifted his hands in surrender. “Fine…do what you want. But know that you’re going to end up killing yourself by acting this way.”

“Good,” Blaez managed to utter before Keiran slammed the door shut behind him.

The fact that he didn’t want to come back to his life, to keep living, wasn’t all that unknown among the rest of the pack. Every single one of them knew, even Embry.

The looks she had been giving him every day since then was like a stab in the gut with a dull blade, or like being beaten with a spiked bat. Her eyes seemed deeper than normal. He could have bathed in the disappointment that filled her irises every time their gazes locked…

They finally pulled up to the police department and as Keiran helped him out, he ducked his head. He ignored the looks he got as he was led into a back room to be interviewed. He just didn’t care…