Chapter Fourteen

Keiran left the living room in a rage. He wasn’t mad at anyone except himself, and he knew the reason why. There were feelings inside him that he didn’t know how to explain, ones he hadn’t felt since he was with Safia, and they were all directed towards Luna.

He didn’t even know her. That was the excuse he kept telling himself. Everyone else had gone off into their different rooms, leaving him alone as he paced the hallway.

He couldn’t believe he had reacted the way he did when he found out that Luna had been in Robert’s keep. He didn’t want to imagine all the things they did to her while she was there. Just the thought had him grunting and running a frustrated hand through his hair, giving it a tight pull.

He was beginning to realize that he couldn’t just ignore the way he was feeling. He was starting to be possessive, as well as protective. There were times when he saw Luna that he just wanted to pull her into his arms and not let her go, just for the sake of keeping her from harm.

Go and just f*****g talk to her, Blaez had said.

He wanted to. He so did and that was proven to himself as he realized where he was standing…right in front of her door.

But what would he say? That one side of him, a side that was becoming more prominent every time he saw her, wanted to protect her as well as possess her, but the other side was denying that he was feeling that way? Yeah, he was sure that would go over real well.

He found himself longing to just open the door, even if it was just to see her.

The sound of the wind blowing outside made him turn his head to the nearest window. The tree by the window pane scratched against the glass and he walked over to it, lifting it open. Saf was going to talk again, he just knew it.

“Speak your heart…”

He exhaled a breath and dropped his head, staring at his hands as they gripped the window sill. “Speak my heart,” he repeated.

“Live…”

“I’m trying,” he furrowed his brows as he replied to the wind. God, he really was losing his mind, wasn’t he?

“Go…”

Taking a much needed breath that filled his lungs completely, he stood straight and turned towards Luna’s bedroom door once again. Without a thought as to how insane what he was about to do was, he moved to it and knocked softly.

“Come in,” she mumbled through what sounded like soft tears.

Concern ran through his veins and he gripped the door knob, giving it a careful twist to open the door quietly.

He turned to the sound of her quiet crying and found her rushing over to the desk chair, her hands frantically trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Keiran,” she swallowed hard.

Moving over to her, he knelt in front of her knees as she turned the chair to face him.

“Why are you crying?”

She scoffed slightly and glanced around her room. “Oh, well, I lost one of my pack members and now the rest of them, plus another pack, are planning a mission that will most likely be suicidal.”

He could have smacked himself upside the head just then. “Right…”

“I keep praying that Larentia will protect us, but I just feel so unsure.”

“That’s natural. This will all work out in the end. I know it.” He wondered if that included them.

More silence came, but it wasn’t all that uncomfortable. It was like they were taking strength in each other’s presence, or at least, that’s what he was doing.         

“I’m sorry,” he finally offered.

“What for?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I could tell I hurt you, earlier, when I said we should just tell the packs that nothing’s going on.”

“Oh…no, don’t worry about it. We can go ahead and tell them that; it’s fine.”

He shook his head and with a small second of hesitance, he placed his hand on her knee. “It would be a lie.”

She sucked in a breath and looked between his face and the hand on her knee. 

“Is there something going on?” Her voice was just the quietest whisper and he had to really listen to make out what she even said.

“There has been since the moment I first saw you. But I kept denying everything. Luna…”

“Yes,” she breathed.

He furrowed his brows again and took another much needed breath. “I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to just jump into this. When I was younger, I had a female and I thought with everything inside me that she was the one.”

He felt Luna tense beneath his touch and he looked up into her eyes, feeling the need to reassure her.

“She died. She was sick, and she never told me. I should have realized, though. She had said something once about spending as much time with me as she could. I had always thought she was talking about our jobs since we were both cops.” He closed his eyes.

“Once she was gone, I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow myself that again. I put myself deep into my job as an officer and more so into the alpha of my pack. I became so focused on my work so I couldn't focus on anything, or anyone else, but then you came along…”

As he looked up at her again, he saw tears shining on the surface of her eyes. She had the smallest tilt of her lips that formed what seemed like a loving smile of comfort. Placing one of her hands over his as it rested on her knee, she cupped his cheek with the other.

“I am not going to ask anything of you, Keiran. Larentia knows you’ve done more than enough for me and my pack by helping us with what we’re going through. I just want you to know that you’re not the only one. I never thought that I would find someone, and I also became work oriented as the leader of my father’s pack once he passed. I am not expecting either of us to jump into anything. I don’t like that,” she shook her head almost in disgust.

He chuckled low as he turned his cheek more into her palm. “So I’ve noticed.” Relief shined down over him and he exhaled hard. There was an unspoken agreement between the two of them to take whatever this was slow.

Luna sat up and looked down at his knees, a frown forming on her lips. “Come on, stand up. Your knees are probably killing you.” She stood from her chair and took his hands, helping him stand even though he didn’t need it.

He didn’t want to leave just yet. Talking to her had brought him more comfort than he’d felt in years, and by the look on her face, she didn’t want him to go either.

“Do you want to go to the living room? We can talk some more.” He shrugged his shoulders. The only other place in the room for them both to sit down was on the bed…and that wasn’t taking things slow.

Her face lit up at his suggestion and she nodded, taking his hand and practically tugging him out of the room. He chuckled again and sat next to her on the couch. Most of the lights were off, save for the one in the kitchen that just barely shone through to the living room. It was enough to shine on their faces so they could see one another.

"Tell me about your dad,” he asked, wanting her to talk, mainly so he could listen to her voice.

She was obviously proud to be the male’s daughter. “He was a mighty alpha. The way he led the pack…it was, to me, the best example of how to lead, and I strive every day to live up to his standards. I only hope I’m making him proud.”

“I am completely sure that you are. Hell, I wish I led my own pack like you do yours.”

A blush bloomed on her cheeks and she shook her head.

“What about your mom?"

“She died giving birth to my brother, and he followed her four days later. My father passed away from old age.”

He reached out and took her hand, holding it in both of his own, a gesture of an unspoken apology.

“It’s okay,” she smiled. “I know they’re all with me. I hear them sometimes, when I’m out running. I hear their voices on the wind.”

He lifted his head and looked at her. “I thought I was just going crazy.”

Tilting her head, she looked at him with a question. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been hearing a voice on the wind, too. It’s been Saf’s voice…Saf; she was the one I was telling you about.”

“Oh…”

“She told me to go to you the first night.”

A heartbeat passed, and she smiled. “I’m glad she did.”

He looked at her and spoke sincerely. “So am I.”