Chapter Eleven

Luna spent the majority of the morning making sure that Keiran and his pack were settled in, as well as making the arrangements for Maddie’s funeral. Her throat clutched up as she thought of Raul. The few minutes he’d needed had turned into hours, until finally, he walked out of her bedroom.

He had looked broken; there had just been no other way to describe it. He hadn’t eaten anything the entire day, no matter how hard she’d tried to get him to. His skin had grown pale and clammy and she ushered him into his room. 

Fortunately, he’d managed to shower and dress himself, but other than that…he wouldn’t function, at least not alone. He never said a word. It was like he was living, but only by the definition of taking breaths. He wasn’t alive inside, in his heart. She could sense it as his alpha, and it broke her own heart.

She left him lying down in his bedroom and shut the door behind her. Leaning back against it, she closed her eyes and let out a frustrated sob. “Father, I don’t know if I can do this.” She’d tried thinking through the whole ‘What would my father do?’ scenario, and it just didn’t work for her.

Placing her face in her hands, she continued to cry as she slid down the wall, her rump hitting the floor with a soft thud. She sat there in tears, talking to her father and praying to the goddess for wisdom and strength.

The sound of a boot stepping on carpet echoed in her ears as her head pounded through her tears and she jerked her head up.

“Keiran,” she mumbled as she saw him looking down at her. There was confusion playing at the corners of his eyes and she wiped the tears from her own as she stood up. “I was just �" uh…”

“You don’t have to make excuses. I can imagine what you’re going through.” He lowered his eyes and pushed his fingers into his pocket.

“I don’t know what to do,” she let her feelings out there, hoping he wouldn’t run from them and offer her some kind of help.

“You do the only thing you can. You push on, and pray that you’ll be able to show them the strength you don’t feel like you have,” he whispered the words. To her, it sounded like he was speaking from experience.

“I don’t think I can do this alone.” She admitted another of her feelings.

“You won’t have to,” he blurted the words out. Running a hand through his hair, a habit she noticed he did when he seemed nervous, he looked up at her cautiously. “I’ll be here to help you through this.”

“As a fellow alpha?”

He took a breath like he was contemplating his next words. “Yeah, of course.”

She felt the disappointment run icy cold through her veins and lowered her own head with a slight nod. “Thank you.” She didn’t even really know anything personal about this male, and she was standing there wishing he would support her as more than just another alpha.

Swallowing back all the pain, frustration, and this new disappointment, she stood tall. “I have to go prepare for the funeral. It’s going to be in about an hour. Your pack is welcome to attend.”

“Yeah, about that…” He left the sentence hanging and rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s something I need to tell you about my pack, and about Robert.”

“What is it?” She raised a wary eyebrow.

"Well, I know that the twins are most likely going to want to be at the funeral. 

They, uh-… Well, they’ll feel guilty about Maddie’s death.”

“Why?”

“They’re the only children of Robert. They’re his twins.”

She took in a surprised breath and stared at him in shock. “How is that even possible? He isn’t shifter, so…”

“Yeah, they were attacked by wolf shifters at a young age. They were just twelve. It was a rogue pack of shifters, one that wasn’t like us at all. They had a hatred for humans; thought they were superior. There are still packs like that out there.”

“I’ve heard of them.”

He nodded before continuing. “They attacked the Bardou’s and bit the twins and their mother. Robert killed his wife before she could change fully. He blames shifters for her death, instead of accepting responsibility, and now he’s after all shifters, as you know, specifically his twins.”

She furrowed her brows as she tried taking in all that information.

“Tala feels the guilt more than Seth. He’s more…anger driven. I’ve tried talking to them about it, but it never works.”

“Would you mind if I talked to them? Maybe they’ll feel better hearing it from someone closer to a death.”

“Yeah, sure, thanks.”

They stood there in that awkward silence again, the large elephant in the room announcing its presence. With a quiet voice, she asked the question that was burning on the ends of both their tongues. “What about the mating?”

She supposed he hadn’t been expecting that question as he looked away quickly.

“I guess…we should just see where things take us before we let ourselves get carried away. I don’t know.” He rubbed the back of his neck again, another habit of his nervousness, she guessed. “I’ve been…hurt bef-…” He was the one to furrow his brows this time and she tried to look into his eyes. He kept them hidden from her.

“We’ll just tell the packs that there’s nothing going on.” With that, he turned and walked down the hallway to the side of the house where his pack was staying.

Ouch. She frowned deeply and felt the disappointment turn into complete and utter rejection that stung with every word he’d said. What was it he was going to say before that? I’ve been hurt before?

Her lower lip curled beneath her teeth; her curiosity getting the best of her. Who was it that had hurt him? Where was she now and was she going to come back into the picture any time soon?

She closed her eyes and shook the thoughts from her head. She had a funeral to focus on.

~

All of the members of both the Marrok and Accalia packs sat in chairs outside underneath the moonlight. Each of them held a small, lit candle in the palm of their hands. Maddie’s body lay before them, her own hands folded across her abdomen.

Luna took a deep breath, filling her lungs with much needed air. Standing up, she walked over to Maddie’s body and leaned over her head. Placing a soft kiss on the middle of her forehead, she closed her eyes and a small teardrop slid down her eyelash and onto Maddie’s cheek.

Standing straight again, she turned and faced the others. “Maddie’s death was untimely and wrong. Regardless of the circumstances of how it happened, we have to accept that it did happen. Though we’ll miss her physical presence with us, we must also accept that her spirit and the spirit of her wolf have moved on to be with Larentia, our goddess. She truly is in a better place, and one day, we’ll be there with her.”

Her eyes darted to Keiran and he nodded his head slightly as if telling her she was doing great. If only it helped…

“Those who want to are, of course, welcome to say a few words to her before we place her to rest.” She squeezed her eyes shut and held out her hand. “Rafe? Do you want to come speak first?”

He sucked in a breath and his jaw went tight. He stood up slowly and walked to the front. He set the candle down on the side of the table Maddie was on and reached into his pocket. Pulling out a small, gold pendant hanging on a chain, he put it around her neck before balling his hands into fists. “Maddie…that belonged to our mom. She would have wanted you to have it.”

With a grunt, he kissed her cheek and walked back to his seat.

“Jaclyn?” Luna covered her mouth to hide her imminent sobs as Jaclyn stood and walked over, also placing her candle down.

“You’ll be missed, little one,” Jaclyn sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “I just…” She shook her head and walked back.

Luna lifted her head. “Raul…”

He lifted his dead eyes and met her gaze. Standing up, he shuffled over to the table and put his candle down. Leaning over, he put his forehead against Maddie’s. Silence bloomed as they waited for him to speak.

“You’re gone,” he groaned. “I feel like with every waking moment, another part of my heart is chipped away. I can’t take a breath large enough to fill my lungs anymore. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting to see you there and you aren’t. I miss your laugh the most. It reminded me of bells. I miss the way you’d smile at me when I said your name, and the way you’d touch my face when I kissed your sweet lips. I don’t know how to do this, Maddie…you have to come back to me. Please…”

The tears were cascading down his face and onto hers and Luna let him have his time to say his goodbye. Afterwards, he stood up and gave Luna a wordless look before shifting right there in front of everyone and running off into the woods.

“Raul!” She cried out after him, but she felt a hand on her arm, one that was becoming to feel familiar.

“I’ll get him,” Keiran’s rough voice sounded in her ear and she watched as he shifted, too.

“Please be careful and bring him back home.”

His wolf let out a soft howl and he ran in the direction that Raul had gone off to.

She dropped her head and more time passed until everyone could move. The rest of her pack disappeared into their rooms in the cabin as well as some of Keiran’s pack, but she could still sense someone’s presence.

She turned and offered as big of a smile as she could to the young female, Tala. “Hi.”

“I’m sorry,” Tala threw it out there and Luna shook her head.

“You and your twin brother are not your father, so please don’t apologize for his actions. They’re not yours to pay for.” She walked over to Tala, who looked close to tears and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you for staying here, though.”

Tala wrapped her arms around her and they stood there in the embrace, silent tears running down both their faces.