Tainted Window: Hidden Secrets

I am torn and confused...lost and unworthy, yet simply wishing for something to bring me back to the light.

Why?

I wonder, why do I wonder?…

Why does this heart of mine quiver so sadly?

The loneliness and angst have cut deep into my soul.

I’ve yet to know what I really thrive to become anymore.

The breath that once healed my many wounds has left…

Abandoned me for another,

As have they all.

To explain the pain I feel, would take more than what I am.

But then I wonder….

What am I?

Who’ve I become?

Emotions tangle day by night,

Uncertainty and Animosity have become part of what I used to call home.

There is now a door that never closes.

Memories that never fade,

Only yet which stays...

Is an ache that seems to never dissipate.

A flurry of words,

A scream of impatience,

Frustration blooms greedily within my dark heart…

Not a day has passed where regret has not been my solemn friend.

Lost within this steel box I am…

Drowning beneath my own sorrows…

Such tears which plaster paper,

Distort my black river of blood.

Though ice cold, does this continue to move forward

All whilst I cry out for help,

I plead for a savior,

Come save me from myself.

This Darkness has taken me hostage…

Shall I forever be this lost?

This lonely?

This Angry?

Please, Someone…
Save me... 
Before the seams of life strangle me so.

Already have I succumbed to the changes,

These demons have overwhelmed me. 

Tranquil thoughts have gone,

Leaving emptiness in its wake.

Time passes ever slowly,

Forcing the day to drag itself out.

Thrown into work I go,

Whilst forever avoiding what pains me so.

How corrupt I've  become,

Forever fearing what I cannot confront. 

Forever screaming what I wish to say.

And yet...

No one shall ever hear these cries, 

for behind such a tainted window,

Lies no survivors. 

And so, the door shall close,

locking inside what must never be set free.

Hatred.

Anger.

Sorrow.

Forevermore shall these be hidden, 

Until I am ready to reveal,

The turmoil I have gone through. 

Though until then,

The lock shall remain in place. 

And maybe one day, 

The light shall shine once more...

Author's Note

Hey guys, I'm finally back. A touch different, but I hope my writing is still strong. Enjoy. R&R please. This has been currently updated twice, thanks to Eclipse who encouraged me to finish this out. I guess I'm just not good with confrontation...

Reviews

[Larry Dyson]

you may have undergone a cathartic experience...but did it change you ..share that part ..be bold...they tell Me do not out your self yourhidden secrets..not correct..out your negativity and be done with it.. verbally..then work on thereal changes within with friends ..you have those on here..

[AK]

So sad, yet beautiful and elegant. Great write!
~your prize for the word war~

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

The light will return.. so emotional and passionate, sad poem ..written so beautifully.

Chloe

[hmm]

A somehwat hidden past, sounds like there are some ghost in your past.
I enjoyed reading this emotional piece. Kind of sad and deeply personal.
Very nicely expressed. Awesome read 100/100

[Larry Dyson]

hmmm looks as if the anger and hatred will continue to be bottled up ...well your choice ...shut away forever is a choice and what will come ..will come...