Lost Flower - Chapter 3

The Sun feels amazing on my face…

Why can’t this last forever?

Why can’t you let me enjoy it?

“Why can’t you leave me alone?!”, a very loud shout escapes my mouth.

I roll over on my stomach, burying my nose in grass and dirt. This is what I want to do. Not sit still for 24 hours.
Someone’s hands grab me around the waist and start to pull me up. I try to resist by holding on to the ground, but just end up with strands of grass in my hands.
“Let me go!”, I yell, trying to kick the man that’s holding me.
“Mr. Scooter, please calm down.”, he says in a really low nasal voice… Samuel.
I roll my eyes, already feeling sick to my stomach. “God, I hate you so much, Samuel! Let go of my waist, you sick pervert!” I throw the grass strands at his face.
“…What?”
“Yeah, that’s right!” I try to kick him again, but he keeps skillfully avoiding my kicks. “I saw the way you were looking at my sister again!”
“Someone get the medicine, the hallucinations are obviously kicking in…”, he says with a long sigh.
“You damn pervert! You probably masturbate by thinking about her, too!”
Ellen yells “Jamie! We do not use those words!”
“Calm down, Scooter. I have no thoughts of your sister. I’m not even in charge of her.”
“No, but you f*****g wish you were!” I suddenly calm down and stare at Ellen, not sure what to say next. I just blankly stare at her. Then at Samuel. And then at the floor. I scratch the tip of my nose, feeling embarassed by all these people staring at me.

I hate being stared at. I’m not something you need to stop and stare at. I'm normal!

So what? I only said the truth and I… I… “Ellen?”, i softly call her, suddenly remembering something. She quickly comes over to me. “Yes?”
“Did you remember to leave the window open like I said this morning?” She looks somewhat confused at this question.
“You never said to do that.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, Jamie, you didn’t…”


After having an almost hour long discussion with Ellen about the window, finally managing to kick Samuel and taking my medicine, I joined the others in the main hall. The main hall is a like a huge room where all the kid patients get to ‘hang out’. It’s nothing special. In the middle we have a bunch of tables and chairs �" that’s where we talk in groups. Actually, most of us stay quiet, or are too tired to talk. We have other chairs as well, for the patients that refuse to join in the group talks, and on one wall, we have a huge mural of a fish. Mel says it looks like a butterfly, but to me it’s a fish.
I scratch the top of my head and look around myself, hoping to see my twin.
No signs of Mel anywhere, just the other kids. They were all weird, and I only actually met a few. Quinn kept rubbing the floor for some reason. Macy was using the fish mural as make-up. John was ‘feeding his pet chicken’ (tossing water from his cup on the floor). Robert claimed he’s here because his ‘wife’ sent him here, so she could get his money. Dean kept asking me to play table tennis with him. And I kept looking for Mel.
After the car accident and our parents’ death, she kept claiming that she was a professional dancer… And got sent here. After a month of being alone with my grandparents, I got sent here too. But there’s nothing wrong with me. I pretend to be a dancer every day, simply to please my sister. I’m perfectly fine.
“H-hey, Melissa?”, Dean’s gentle voice speaks up from behind me. Great, here comes Mr. Nervous.
“For the last time, Dean…”, I turn around and face him. “I’m James. James Scooter. Jamie. The boy twin. Not Mel.”
He yawns and gives me a table tennis racket. “I’m sorry… You two look exactly the same…”
“Other than our faces, we look pretty different. She has long hair and a chest, I don’t. You can easily tell us apart, especially from behind.”
“Y-yeah, but…”, he continues, fidgeting with his fingers. “You have the same butt, and the same pyjamas, only in different colors. You’re almost the same…”
“Dean…” I hit myself on the head. Or, actually, I miss my own head and ‘hit’ the air. “I don’t want to continue with this conversation anymore…”
“Ok, ok! W-we can play table tennis… You’re already holding the racket!”
“I don’t have the energy…”
“Please?”
“Dean…” His face suddenly lights up with hope that I’ll play with him. Rarely anyone ever played with him. The volunteers sometimes did, but he always kept trying to get us to play. His hazel eyes staring at me, begging me to say ‘yes’… Crush the last bits of energy I have, or crush his spirit? “F**k off, Dean.”
He sighs. “Why do you always have to swear? You know ‘they’ don’t like it.”
“Because I f*****g want to swear. They can f*****g take my f*****g energy, they can f*****g keep me in this fucked up place, those fuckers can even give me goddamn drugs that I don’t f*****g want in my f*****g body, but they can’t f*****g tell me not to f*****g swear!”
Dean pouts angrily. And then gives me a really strong hug. “Well then, have a f*****g great day, you… You… Blondie.”
“Wow, you got me with that one. It’s almost as good as when you called me Spiderman.”
“Y-yeah, that was good, I know. Or should I say 'bad', haha."
"Out of all the people I could choose for my best friend, I chose you..."
"But I'm cute~ And I also have some messages for you.”
“They’re not from the future again, right?”
“Only one is from the future, silly~. 'You’re unprofessional and late'. 'Go meet me in the top left corner.' 'You’re going to fall today, and it's going to hurt.'”
“That makes no- I FORGOT ABOUT THE DANCE?!” I slap my forehead and bite my lip. I was supposed to dance with Mel first thing in the morning! "No! This can't be happening!"
My short and nervous friend shrugs. "It's happening. I saw this in a dream. Later, aliens are going to come and take you away and use your body for exp-"
"Dean. I think Macy's done with her make-up. She'll probably play table tennis with you."
"Oh my- You really think so?!", and he happily ran off to the fish mural... Now to think about what I've just done.
'You’re unprofessional and late. Go meet me in the top left corner.'... She can't be that angry? I mean, dancing is the only thing that makes her happy, but... I didn't know I was going to be chased by Samuel all the way outside. Man, I hate him... He always ruins my plans. But Mel... I should have been more careful. She is the only thing that makes me happy. I should talk to her... I slowly start walking to the corner she said to meet in, dragging my feet all the way there. A couple of yawns here and there... Feeling sleepy as usual... Slightly blurry vision... I finally arrive. No Melissa, but there is someone else waiting for me. Someone pretty tall with strong hands. Probably has dark hair. He's wearing pale green clothes, so he should work as a volunteer here.
"Took you long enough to get here." That annoying nasal voice...
"Sending a message by saying you're Melissa. How funny.", I say with a smirk.
"I have no idea what that's supposed to mean."My vision goes back to normal. That happens a lot to me...
"That's a new low even for you, Sam." I turn around to leave, but he grabs my arm and pulls me somewhere. If I weren't under the medicine, I would kick him so hard right now... He carefully opens the door, making sure the security cameras can't see him, or that he at least looks like he's not doing anything suspicious.

A grown man taking a kid to a closet in a mental hospital. Nothing weird about that.

He gently leads me inside, and gently closes the door. I mumble something. He turns the lights on. The closet is pretty small and full of toilet paper. In the corner there is a mop and on a small shelf next to it some other cleaning supplies. Nothing special.
Samuel suddenly angrily grabs my throat and pushes me against the wall. His face an inch away from mine, I feel his breath on my forehead. I stare at his furious expression, the feeling of fear rushing through my body and making me shake. "Keeping yourself on a higher level than me. That's a smart way to take control. You know, that's how you teach parrots to-"
He slaps me, probably leaving a hand-shaped mark on my cheek. "Shut up."
"Let go of me.", I whisper, trying to break free.
"Do you even know why you're f*****g here, Scooter?", he asks me, angrily whispering.
"To keep Mel company. I'm not stupid."
"No. You have schizophrenia. You hear things. You change talk topics every 5 seconds. On top of all that you have anger problems. You're mentally ill."
"Sure I am."

Liar.

"And you seem to dislike me for some reason."
"I have plenty of reasons, trust me."
"Oh, did the voices tell you I'm planning on murdering you?"
"No! I don't hear voices!" Another slap. I keep trying to break free.
"I'm going to ask you again, Scooter. Why are you here?"
"To keep Mel company!" Another slap, stronger than the previous one.
"Why are you here?"
"To keep Mel company." Another one.
"Why are you here, James?"
Tears slowly start to drip down my cheeks. "To keep Mel company..."

Another slap.

"I'm going to beat the living s**t out of you until you give me the right answer."
"I'm here to keep Mel company! I'm not f*****g mental!" He throws me at the floor. I cough some blood and get up in a sitting position, tightly holding my shoulder. "You're the one that's sick!" Another slap throws my body at the floor again. This time I fall face-first. "I'm not... Crazy..." He grabs my shirt and pushes me against the wall again, this time holding me above him. He pushes himself against me, giving me no breathing space. He looks scary... "Is that your cellphone in your pocket, or are you just excited to see me in this position?" He looks like he's about to murder me, and all I keep doing is crying and saying things that make it worse. I just can't control it.
"Listen here. Stop making scenes every time you see me. I have no intention of raping you, your sister, or anyone else. And everyone knows that. But I do have job trouble because some little prick decided that he's going to accuse me of it at least once a day. You don't have to admit your problems. Everyone else is aware of them and that's the only thing that actually matters. I can do anything to you and no one would believe you. You know why? Because you're f*****g crazy."
"I'm not crazy." I manage to wipe the tears off my cheek with my right pajama sleeve.
"Just stay away from me and stop calling me a rapist, or I'll beat you up. Got it?"
"Perhaps you're hiding that you really are a rapis-" And another slap...
"Just stay away. You don't know what I'm capable of."
"I don't plan on finding out, just let me go! I don't want to see you! I don't want to hear you! I don't want to know that you're alive!" He sighs and lets go of me. He gives me some toilet paper. "Now leave like nothing happened and like you were just blowing your nose."
"I can pretend that I was blowing something else."
"I swear, I'm this close..."
"Fine, I'm going."
"Wait." He stops me and wipes all the tears from my face. We leave the closet and I blow my nose in the toilet paper he gave me. "Now get lost." I stick my tongue at him and make sure the camera catches me leave while holding my butt like it really hurts. "Stop that.", he says, faking a smile.

I hate him so much.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems, and please review