FADING

What do you do when you can't breathe.

When it feels like there's a rock on your chest and you've  forgotten how to breathe

You hold your breath. you only breathe in, never out.

and the pressure builds. It doesn't stop

What do you do when you can't express your pain, when you can't cry

when all you feel is hurt and darkness and you can't express it

what do you do when when you speak up it sounds more like a lecture than a cry for help

what do you do when you're sinking, drowning in an ocean of misplaced pain

and they see you drown but they can't swim either so they pretend like it's all okay

What do you do when you're done putting up the fake smile for their comfort

and now they see the sadness in your eyes and still pretend it's a smile

what if they wanna help but don't know how to and don't try

I'll tell you what.

you sink, you drown, you collapse, you faint from hypoxia

sooner, you'd explode and all you can wait for is the calm

you just stay put and hope the calm comes

hope that maybe your ocean of pain floats your alive corpse to tranquility

you let the waves take you away, hopefully they'll take you to peace

hope is all you have, but not the good kind.

the kind of expectation that your emotions would finally vanquish you

you can only pray it comes sooner

because of the aftermath

 

Reviews

[ANTO]

"alive corpse" - wow
If there is a better description of depression than this I've yet to read it.
I find it really inspiring that one can access the source of such creativity despite this overwhelming darkness. Keep writing.

[Spaicey]

thank you so much :)