The Sandman

I was pushing myself to write something out of anything, and I just thought about The Sandman. It's a rough draft, kinda raw but I'll be open for reviews hoping it would pusg me to write some more...

Daunting mirrors and open doors,

Hear the dreary sleepwalkers snore,

Roaming the dismal weary streets,

Of comfy pillows and warm bed sheets.

It rained of dust in the land of sleep,

Where you so helplessly descended deep.

Drowning like the spilling sand,

That desperately escapes your hand.

Darkness devours what's left of light,

As you fade into the dampening night.

Here the murky beings play,

In their most disturbing way.

Author's Note

I've been gone for a long while now. To be honest, it was difficult for me to come up with a new composition being stuck in writer's block. This is just a raw draft. One of my many attempts of a new poem. Be brutally honest if you must.

Reviews

[Kleio13]

Now that you are back from writers block- this poem isn`t bad at all. i love your rhyme scheme and delightful verse techniques. K

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Thank you so much K.

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Thank you so much K.

[Anne Timmins]

this is a spectacular poem

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Thank you once again. :) Although I still feel it lacking...

[KeeD]

You just made this fictional creature come to life in my head..terrifying and so real I see him for fear my eyes do not shutter. Creepers 100% right you have a way with words, you can make something dark and raw have a heartbeat, whether it beats to eat you alive or not that's left to the imagination but oh wow do I enjoy reading this stuff.

[Fréyjä Helvití]

I merely put more attention on the flow then the rhyming follows. Sure there are so many words that rhyme, and that's not the challenge here. It's more on the choice of words you use to compliment the atmosphere of the poem. And it ends up sounding like chants of witches casting spells... LOL. I'm no witch btw. Thanks for the review.

[Rob Santana]

I really don't care to much for rhyming anymore. What I really like is when you use words as if they are mere toys to you. You have a way with words that is both mesmerizing and intoxicating. Your vocabulary is strong and intelligent. I totally understand the writers block. I hope it passes and you come back strong Princess. I hope to see you here more often with new pieces of amazing creativity. I'm being brutally honest ;)

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Glad you liked this one too rob. Although this piece needs more re writing. Especially the ending. Your thoughts inspire me.. Thanks Rob. :)

[Rocans]

It's alright, the rhymes were not optimal but average. It makes the poem flow nicely enough. Overall it was enjoyable. Writers block...I've been there what helps me the most is coming up with one solid line the rest will follow. My favourite lines were:
Darkness devours what's left of light,
As you fade into the dampening night.

Decent write.

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Yeah. I hadn't put much effort on the rhymes. My goal was to just write something, so I focused more on the flow of the poem. Thanks for the review.. :) I don't know why I can't send read requests... :(

[Rocans]

You are welcome...I think sometimes the read requests don't work, happens to me now and again, I sometimes have to refresh the page multiple times for the complete page to come up...hope that helps. :)

[Fréyjä Helvití]

There I sent the read requests.. thanks again :)