This different side of me

I'm fourteen years old, but i feel as though I've lived a thousand years,

All I had to do was step back, and everything was crystal clear.

But now my telescope is foggy. Groggy-

Is what I feel when I wake up, but wheres that little kid I was,

When I was growing up?

So many people, tell me i'm strong,

And its like an alarm to see what I've turned out to be.

But when I look in the mirror, I feel like I've been cast out to sea.

Because who is that looking back at me?

It's been a hard year, to say the least.

Because I've had to deal with this new beast.

"It's all the hormones, it's just a phase."

I wish I could use that excuse to back up this heart that is ablaze.

I grew up, with my head in the clouds, 

I never was proud, a shy kid behind his mother.

But now I look up at the stars,

Because I've found out who we are,

As a people, because of my telescope view.

I'm still trying to figure out me,

Who I am supposed to be. 

The bars set sky high, you need binoculars to see it.

But for me it's kinda different, 

It's a feeling, and i'm feeling it.

Maybe all the stories my mamma told were true,

Maybe my dreams will come too.

I feel as if i'm floating now,

Out of my body, like a robot who's learned to frown.

I think I see myself, in the stories I try to write,

Maybe that's the part of me who wants to fight.

I don't know yet who I am,

But I know that somebody has a plan,

To help me when the s**t hits the fan.

Pardon my language, i'll never do that again,

But come back soon and maybe you'll see,

This different, developing, side of me...