The Passing

 

Beyond the silent threshold

Waits the silent cold-

After all the toil of life

It is no wonder we grow old-

 

Embrace the waiting doom

Fear not the waiting tomb-

In the end you are alone

Shadow ends all soon-

Reviews

[M J Moore]

I like this piece. It is somber without being cold or morbid. It's just...death, meant to be embraced, not feared.

After all the toil of life
It is no wonder we grow old-

I like these two lines here... they really speak, without having to say much. you did a nice job on this piece. The flow went well, and it was original spin, I think, on such a universal subject.

mj

[Erotic Goddess]

Very self explanatory and a very well written poem on death. Could not have explained it better, and the rhyme threw it all together perfectly. Thank you!

[Ms.dmarie]

i loved the lines "after all the toil of life/it is no wonder we get old" i know, right??a straightforward approach to deathvery un-idealisticjust..what is.refreshing yet a bit gloomy

[Aviendha]

I can't really say I agree with previous reviews. You use words that carry strong, negative connotations like "doom", "alone", and "tomb", but then say that we must not fear death. How can we be unafraid of death when all we have to look forward to is lonliness and doom? I have to say that this does make the reader face death as the inevitable, but it doesn't make it easy for the reader to accept.

[Selena Chapman]

I am of the firm belief that greater things await us beyond the threshold of death, that it is just a rebirth to a new and more enlightened plane... that knowledge is not for us to know just yet, it seems. Beautifully phrased, this. Very final.

[Robert Luna]

Wonderful job!!! It is alone that must face death in the end and you made this beautifully clear in this piece.

Great Job!!!

[Kelly Raine]

Ooohh, spooky! I like!
"After all the toil of life
It is no wonder we grow old-"--How true! How come no one ever thinks of getting old this way?
Good short piece.

[Tomás Ó C..]

A dark foreboding poem well written to send a shiver up the spine!

[James K. Blaylock]

i really enjoyed your story...great ending. keep'em coming.