A Lesson from a Life

This one is dedicated to my grandpa. He's dying of cancer, and he has taught me much through the years. Every second counts, so remember: Time is all we truly have, but someday we'll all realize that we have less of it left than we thought.

There was a boy, still small in years,
Still young and beauteous and pure,
Though strong was he and healthy too,
He remained of his life unsure.

Doubtful, I voice, for his habit was
To foolishly seek and chase,
But if much he knew of life’s brevity
His journey he would not waste.

Destined, this boy did happen upon
A man rich in wisdom and years,
And it was this man who saved the boy
With wisdom, anger, and tears.

For, on that night, when he chanced upon
The man in the wood by the stream,
He laughed at the man there under the moon
Until his eyes in the starlight gleamed.

And then the man, with aged weariness,
Uncorked his bottle and drank,
And when he was done, far from light of sun,
Into deep thoughts he sank.

Moments went by, the man absorbed,
And the boy yet mocking there,
Before the man slow raised his head
And Great Wisdom charged the air!

It was Wisdom now, tears on his cheeks,
That spoke in a voice strong and clear,
And the words he spoke held power like those
Given note by an ancient seer.

“Unless you change you will be the same
 As many a man that I’ve seen,
 And wasting time you’ll fail to find
 Swift Joy’s non-existent key.”

“But what of this, the moment now?
 What of the breath you breathe?
 Is time a good more worthless to you
 Than even old I can perceive?”

“If so, then this advice I give,
 From deep down within my soul:
 Drink the wine while it’s still sweet,
 Gorge from the China Bowl!”

“For, in your life, there will come a day
 When red wine is a bitter drink,
 When upon the subliminal stage of life
 God’s Black Curtain will sink.”

“And on this day you’ll ask yourself,
 As dismay fills full your soul:
 ‘How could I have wasted a breath,
 A drop from the China Bowl?’”

“But on my day akin to yours,
 When, at last, my body stops,
 I’ll fill my lungs and surely know
 That I broke Joy’s heavy lock!”

And then in the wood a silence hung,
The trees sounding not a creak,
While there the boy stood, mouth agape,
The wind stirring not a leaf.

A moment there they stood like this,
As the young and old do meet,
But soon the boy, with certainty,
This declaration did surely speak:

“Bring wine, red wine!
 Crimson my blood will flow!
 I’ll live my life as one drunk on life,
 And then, with Joy, I’ll go!”
 

Author's Note

Please help me edit it and feel free to give opinions. All thoughts are appreciated.

Reviews

[JohnL]

I like this poem very much and felt that in the main it flowed well in the style and rhythm you chose to use. This was in the fashion of narrative poetry though it was good to find you had chosen a subtle half rhyme rather than the usual rigid AA, BB, etc of this type of poem. It was quite delightful and caused the work to sound natural even though somewhat archaic (which I might add was totally suitable). There were one or two places that could stand a bit of tidying up, one being your use of 'do' and 'did' with a verb rather than use a simple present or imperfect tense. I realise it was to retain the rhythm, but I am sure there is a better way round it. Viz:
'Destined, this boy did happen upon; As the young and old do meet; This declaration did surely speak'
I also am uneasy with:
"Is time a good more worthless to you
Than even old I can perceive?"
'A good more' is a strange phrase, though if you are using good as a noun, I suppose it is acceptable, and 'old I' may be grammatically correct - I'm not sure,- but it has a strange ring to it.
These are my thoughts and are meant to be helpful. Otherwise I find it an excellent piece. Welcome to my Friends.
I feel for you over the illness of your grandad. At 75 myself, though in reasonable health, I feel the acceleration of time and the limits it imposes. I accept his comments and am happy to say I have lived life fully, travelled, have a wonderful wife and friends and few regrets. Such regrets as I have, I have learned from. My 'China Cup' has been well filled and well supped.
John

[Brendan Moulton]

Oooh, really good! I like the analogy of the China Bowl.

[TL Boehm]

a smart lesson about life and living....and what we pass on to others in the process of becoming...
Well done. Good to see you again here at the cafe. There was a hole in the fabric in your absence.

[Emily B]

Beautifully done! Given the circumstances of my weekend, wonderfully so . . .

[Ezira Kardtman]

It's AMAZING! Do NOT change a thing. And I'm terribly sorry about your Grandfather; you know how to find me if you want to talk. *hug*

[Celtic Cat]

Not too harsh....and the beginning flowed flawlessly. It got a little choppy when the old man spoke, but his words I thought more important than the flow at that point. This actually reminds me of a poem I wrote, now that I've re-read it. If you care...check out Dear Timid One...though it's a dream not a conversation...but another passing on of life's lessons piece!

[Celtic Cat]

As I waste my life and read this piece it stings deeply and makes me want to run away from it. How many reminders do we need that life is short and yet still we watch it go by? I hope the boy does as he proclaimed...and never loses the momentum. I do not see much for editing, I'm just wounded from the blow. Excellent write.

[Amy Whetzell]

I don't think it needs editing. I think its wonderful...not much help am I? But thank you for sharing it!