Placid

 

River of Sorrow

Nearest by-

 

As I walk, I hear

Blackbirds’ cry-

 

When my Moon darkens

I falter-

 

Haunting black waters

Consume me-

 

You fly, I drown.

Author's Note

Any and all feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

Reviews

[Bob Carney, "Soon ..]

There's a lot being alluded to in very few words which in itself, is talent. I see several interpretations, but the first is the strongest. I see a circle of life with heavy symbolism represented by the blackbird (harbingers of evil or death) and the moon (mystery, terror and life). Rivers are often used to symbolize life and death as you used in "Haunting Black waters". This is really an exceptional poem. Thanks for sharing with us.

[Lydia Shutter]

Succinct and powerful poetry here. Leaves the reader wondering who is flying and why that instigates your drowning. Incredible imagery. Lydia

[TL Boehm]

a 'black hole' of a poem....small - inescapable....a poem to drown in. I love this. precise - simple lines - yet the gravity pulls me right in.

[Badmac (Brenda )]

short
yet written well
and I enjoyed it.
Brenda

[Emily B]

Haunting black waters and haunting dark words. This is a stunning poem. Simplicity is hardly ever simple, and in this case the utter elegance of your words is quite unnerving.

[Summer Child]

short and sweet.
yet it can describe so much that way.
quite lovely diego.

[Gary H]

My thoughts -

Perfect. A bit crushing but perfect all the same. The only problem I see is when you stop flying and come crashing down on top of me - that's when I suffocate if you failed to drown me.....

Very good write and expressed so much in so few words.

[Erotic Goddess]

You fly, I drown...

WOW! That is just incredibly sad. So short, such wonderful words, perfect delivery. I love it. Thank you for sharing this piece with me. I appreciate it.

XXOXX

[Aviendha]

This is very sad, you really get the emotion of the piece across very well. It makes it even better that you said so much with so few words. Very pretty, going in my library :)

[Fruit Loop]

Oh wow. Spine tingling. Very nicely written, and the name of it fits very nicely.

Keep up the good work. :)

-Emily Elizabeth Klitzke

[Selena Chapman]

A different rhythm here to the previous works of yours that I've read. Intense imagery, I like your style.