Debut-E-Hunt

"Are you nervous?" Nila asked Blaze, knowing the answer all too well.
"How could I not be? Everything I've done until now, all of it was for this moment.", Blaze seemed quite agitated, "All my life I just wanted a chance to prove myself in front of everyone and, and now…."
"Now that you have that chance you are not sure if you are ready or not, right?"
"Yeah." Blaze stared at the helm that was on the edge of the veranda with a look of hesitation.
"Well, then let me give you a piece of advice; don't look down on yourself no matter what others say or think. You my child, are capable of wonderful things, things that frankly none but you can do."
 Nila picked up the helm and held it in front of him, "Sometimes you may feel like you're not ready, and sometimes you may actually not be. But that is no excuse for losing faith, as you will always be ready when the right time comes. You know why?"
"..."
Nila smiled at Blaze's silence and while putting the helm on his head she said, "Because you're the most special person in this world; you are my son."
 Upon hearing this the unsure expression of Blaze's face faded into a confident look, he felt a current of excitement through his whole body.
Dressed in a warrior's attire, Blaze kneeled before his mother, plunged the blunt end of his spear on the ground and vowed, "Tonight, I shall slay a beast worthy for the royal feast, I shall bring pride to our family!"
"May your venture be fruitful and may you return unharmed."
 
The Debut-e-Hunt, a custom every member of the Agnihotri family must go through. 
On the night before one reaches adulthood, they hunt a mystical beast alone and that beast's meat is to be used in the great feast at the royal banquet. The mystical beast that is hunted is chosen by the emperor himself.
 Blaze's task was simple, he had to hunt down one Ashboar by the end of the night; and if he was to fail, he would not be acknowledged as an heir to the throne anymore. For Blaze who had been neglected by the royal family since childhood, this was the start of his journey towards recognition; thus, he had to succeed, no matter the cost.
At midnight, Blaze was dispatched to the Ember Woods. Ashboars are very hostile creatures, even though they normally flee from humans but once cornered they could fight quite fiercely. Their main strength were the two razor-sharp teeth in front and their speed. Tracking down a Ashboar was gonna be the hardest part for Blaze.
 The whole forest was scouted by imperial hunters beforehand; The only mystical beasts found in the forest were 2 Ashboars and 1 Stone-Claw. Stone-Claws used to hibernate in winter so only Ashboars were to be weary of.
 Blaze was being watched by a group of soldiers, whose job was to stop anything fatal from happening. Blaze found a set of burnt footprints on the ground while searching, they were footprints of a wild Ashboar.
 Blaze traced the footprints which led him to a clean open area in the middle of the woods; the soldiers followed from afar. In that open area, he found corpses of 2 wild Ashboars. Both corpses had fatal wounds. Everyone assumed that the boars must've fought and killed each other.
"What a luck that rascal has, didn't even have to fight. He got a damn jackpot, just like that!", Swen, one of the soldiers exclaimed.
"But can he just take those like that? Those are not his kills though", said Sung Ho, youngest of the soldiers, "What are we even supposed to report to the General?"
"What do you think?" The leader of the group spoke, "If that prince says those are his kills, then they are. we have no choice but to do as he says. We can't just go against a member of Royal family!"
"Damn lucky b*****d!"
 To the soldiers this incident seemed to be in his favor, but to Blaze it was odd. All of them were missing something, something really important, but what was that something?....
Blaze's blood curdled as he realized what that 'something' was; there was a wound made from something sharp on one of the boars' stomach. Were Ashboars predators? Yes. Could Ashboars be cannibals? Maybe, he couldn't be sure of that; but there was one thing he was certain of, Ashboars didn't have claws!
 The sudden realization petrified Blaze, he instinctively shouted, "Everybody stay alert! There is something dangerous nearby!!!"
"KKyyyuuukkkhh!!!"
But alas! It was already too late. The Stone-Claw had already sneaked up behind them, and before Swen could even realize, he was torn to shreds by the bear with claws that can cut through mountains. The creature let out a bone-chilling growl.
 With one claw crushing his skull, the beast plunged its other claw into fallen Swen's stomach to get his intestines out to eat. All the other soldiers froze in their positions, seeing their comrade's gruesome end. A Stone-Claw is not something they could ever kill; even imperial hunters are terrified by those.
"We'll have to fight that thing?", asked Sung Ho.
They were some mere royal guards; they shouldn't even be there. Then why the hell were they sent tonight?
"Run!!!!" the voice of the leader rung in everyone's ears. He was right, the only way they could survive this was by fleeing. All of them threw away their long-swords and ran with their lives on the line; the last one to start running was Sung, but as he was about to run, he saw something that shook his soul.
 The Stone-Claw wasn't eating Swen anymore, it had already found a new prey, him. The beast's gaze was fixated on him, he knew his demise was inevitable.
'Run run run run! Ruun!!!!' was the only thing his mind was telling him, but his body had already surrendered to death.
The beast rushed towards him at scary speed, but sung could do nothing. He closed his eyes and waited for his end.
CLANK!
It was the sound of the beast's claws colliding with metal. Ah! So it finally happened, Sung Ho died; but why didn't he feel any pain? Is death painless?
No, he didn't die?!
 Sung Ho hurriedly opened his eyes in curiosity, and was shocked by what he just saw. It was the prince!
Blaze stood in front of him, he had stopped the beast with his shield. Sung Ho realized just how close he was to his demise, the bear's claws stuck in the shield.
 "If all of us ran, it would just hunt us one by one! We must kill it!!"
Blaze spun his spear around and then hit the beast in the head with its mace-like end; the Stone-Claw was sent a few yards away from them.
 Now the other soldiers realized, they had forgot all about Blaze; even if this prince is an illegitimate son, he has royal blood running through his veins. If they had a 'Royal Blood' with them, they had a chance of killing this formidable creature.
 "Grrrhhhhhh!"
No, the beast's growl shook their very souls, they could never kill something like that. But they couldn't even run anymore, why? The horrendous sound of the beast made them unable to even move a muscle.
 The beast now ran towards its new opponent; Blaze also ran towards it.
CLANK!
Once again, the claws stuck on the shield, this time blaze used the spear's blade. He tried to plunge it in the beast's neck but failed; the armor surrounding its body was too solid for the spear to go through.
 The beast tore through his shield and struck Blaze with sheer power. Blaze blocked the strike with his wrist guards by tenth of a second, but he was pushed far away from where they were. Blaze quickly got back on his feet but then he noticed that his spear had fell from his hand not long ago.
 The beast was rushing towards him, but he could never fight it without a weapon. Then his eyes fixated on something a few steps away, he noticed a long-sword which one of the soldiers had left. 
Blaze looked at the beast rushing, then looked at the sword, then again looked towards the beast and then again, the sword; there was not even a moment to spare, the beast was too close!!
 Blaze hurriedly jumped towards the sword, and just as the beast was about to strike him with its claws, Blaze picked up the sword and parried the attack. Now there was an opening, he could stab it with the sword, but he knew all to well how strong the armor was.
 Then a thought came to his mind, 'Our weapons cannot pierce through the armor, but what about its own claws?'. The armor was only non-existent near the claws, what Blaze had just planned had a very slim chance of success, but nonetheless it was his only chance at surviving.
 Blaze quickly swung his sword and cut away the beast's claw from its hand. The Stone-Claw that was only growling fiercely till now let out unnerving cry of pain. Blaze felt a wave of relief but that relief was short-lived.
The beast didn't waste more than 3 seconds to wail in pain, it slashed with the other claw with great speed and power. Blaze quickly blocked it with the sword, but the ordinary weapon couldn't hold out anymore, it broke. 
Blaze had lost his balance because of the attack and fell on the ground. The beast prepared to strike once again. The severed claw was behind the beast now, he could try to run past the bear to grab it, but Blaze knew he could never get it before the beast's attack so he finally gave up.
'Would it have turned out differently if the soldiers stayed with him?' Blaze thought, but all these thoughts were futile and he knew that.
Blaze instinctively knew, he was about to about to die; but he didn't feel too scared or sad, all he felt was regret.
He wanted to prove himself, he wanted to show everyone who looked down on him just how great he could become, he wanted to be acknowledged; no, not just that, he wanted to be respected. He was regretful that he wasn't able to accomplish any of it; but the most regret he had was of not being able to keep his promise.
"I promised Ma I would return safely. She'd cry if I died, wouldn't she? *Sigh* What a waste."
Blaze closed his eyes and surrendered to his end.
"OYYEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Sung Ho's voice startled Blaze, enough to make him open his eyes again. And in a blink of an eye something unprecedented happened. Sung ho ran up the beast's back, jumped and plunged Blaze's spear in one of its eyes.
Sung Ho fell on the ground right beside Blaze. Blaze couldn't contemplate what had just happened, but it was no time for contemplation. 
The beast was disoriented as it screamed in pain, Sung Ho had dealt the vital hit, now it was up to Blaze to finish it. And Blaze didn't waste any more time.
 Blaze hurriedly ran towards the severed claw, picked it up and plunged it right into the beast's stomach. And right when the beast fell to the ground, he jumped onto the top of its chest.
 Grabbing the spear with firm hands, Blaze let out a loud wail, "Arrrghhhh!!!!" and shoved the spear deeper into the beast's head, then twisted it and then broke open the its skull with the spear, exposing its brain matter all over the ground.
 All the soldiers stared at such gruesome sight with surprise and awe, the terrifying beast had finally been slayed.
Everyone present there, including Sung Ho were alive only because of Blaze but none of them thanked him; rather they couldn't, their voices won't come out.
Thus, they paid there gratitude and respect by doing something better than just thanking him.
 All the royal guards present there, knelt in front of him Blaze, as Blaze sat on top of the beast with his spear raised high as he was the victor of this fight.
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Author's Note

Please give some suggestions as to how I can improve My Story. Every review and even criticism is appreciated.

Reviews

[Lazarus]

I feel it would flow better if you separated diologue a little more. Like make the diologue it's own paragraph.