The Thought Process

After the meeting with young Jalen, this had opened up old wounds as if being cut with a blunt knife. He continued his walk to work, his mind was in overdrive, and thoughts began to weigh him down. Caused him to think about the dreams that he had not perused. Places he had not visited, people whom he lost touch with. All because he was too lazy to make that simple step.

“Courage” he muttered to himself “People have forgotten about courage, they all say one thing and do the opposite. They have truly lost their ways.” He thought to himself

“Is it really too late to recognize his dreams? It takes many years to become a doctor or surgeon. “ He thought as he entered the shop to begin his shift.

As he entered the Mini Mart he could just smell the cleaning products used to wash the floors, the cool breeze from the standing fan hit his face as he walked in.

Radio was playing local station the Manager was standing behind the cash desk. He said “Hi“to his boss who was reading the local paper. Didn't even acknowledge that he existed just responded with a simple “Grunt” as if he was chewing his words. He was a big man, with blotchy skin and a buzz cut, he had a big stomach due to the amount of junk food he ate and beer he consumed.

He then thought „I wonder what his dream was? “It was only his fear of being ridiculed that caused him to oppose the idea of asking him such a question. But he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he sacrificed in order to be a manager at the Mini Mart for low pay and long hours.

He had to get out of this thought process. He thought to himself, looking at the clock on his phone “or this day will turn out to be the longest day of his life. “ Yet, no matter how hard he tried. It kept flooding back like an overflowing dam trying to contain water that was constantly pouring in.

“Same can be said about fate or dreams, destinies however you want to put it. It will eventually find a way through whether we are young or old it will break through in the end.

And when it does it will cause us to question all the paths we had chosen, the people we had met, the circle of friends we stayed close to, the ones that we let walk away. What was it all about? What was the meaning? Where was my guide when I needed him? I needed omens only thing I seemed to notice was walls.” Antwone thought to himself.

Beginning to get caught up in his own self pity, He heard a scream from the front of the store. “Antwone! Am I paying you to sit back there? There are jobs to be done. “

He put on his work shirt and name badge, when he entered through the double doors he was monumentally blinded by the glare of the sun shining through the window like a spotlight and he was on stage. It carried with it a strange yet soothing feeling of warmth and serenity.

He asked the manager “Where do I start?“ he told him “Start by looking in the refrigerated section for out of date products and label them with 25% discount“ he said with a drab voice. “Ok“Antwone responded, as he approached the area where all the refrigerated products are located he started sifting through the produce.

Looking for items that were expiring soon or already expired.

Again he started to think on his past. “His friends and how they had all moved on, married had children, found their own dreams and chased them, some passed at an early age from drink and narcotics abuse.

It was a small town although it's the same no matter where you go in the world; scenes change but scenarios are the only things that are consistent. “He thought to himself.

After-all and in most cases with small towns, they decay as youth branch out to bigger urban cities. In search of work and career possibilities. Some get caught in the rat race trying to get rich quickly. Others just pinned everything on false hopes that everything will go as they want it to because they took the risk to go there, so they deserve it.

He unfortunately was not one of these people, his father left him at child birth and with reasons unknown to him, never looked back.

In his father’s mind his job had been complete, he done gods work and brought life into the world with no regard to its safety and well being.

“Yet I forgive him. “ He thought to himself as he watched his mother raise him, struggling to give him all that she did not receive from her parents.

Doing all that she could the best way she knew how. She was both mother and father and times she would be the consoling and caring mom who would protect and nurture him, but on the other side, she was the hard yet fair disciplinarian that would punish him when he committed wrong doings this was for him to understand moral values in life.

She taught him the importance of friendship and trust, the meaning of sharing and being patient, to be kind and humble, respect your elders and treat woman accordingly she also explained that he should not act like he is better than everyone else, as there are often others out there better than you.

But it doesn't mean you should never strive to reach greatness “Shoot for the moon“ she said “Even if you miss that you are still among the stars.“ “How did I forget these words? “He said to himself.

They just came back to me at this very moment. He felt a build of tears in his eyes they started to fill. He took a deep breath, composed himself.

“I miss you mom. “ He said to himself “And I know that somewhere you can hear me. I know you are watching me and in some ways sad that I am not pushing myself hard enough. “I am sorry.” at that moment he had felt a breeze chill his neck, he shuddered and quickly went back to work.

It was only 3 hours into his working day and he was already looking for things to do so that the boss would not have any reason to say anything, He only wished he could have his headphones to listen to his own music and not listen to the same music and talking he heard every day on the radio.

It got to the point when he just shut it out like it was background static.

Damn!! He thought, “Why am I thinking about all of this? “He asked himself “Was that young boy's question so strong that I can’t think of anything else but a full assessment of my life? “ “Maybe he was an angel he began to think, to show him that there is still time. “ He smiled at how ridiculous he was beginning to sound.

As his work went on he continued with his daily routine which consisted of, cleaning and replenishing the shelves, brushing the floors, and serving the occasional customer when necessary.

“Soon it will be time for a tea-break. “He thought to himself “this is always nice, just to kick up your feet and do nothing. “ Today was different he was so restless he didn’t even want to sit down he took a mug from the cupboard and made himself a coffee leaning against the worktop he sipped his coffee.  

Reviews

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

I really like the different elements you put in this chapter. It makes the story more realistic. I like the way you are slowly revealing who the character is instead of saying it all at once. I got nothing to add :)