Occupy My Heart

The moments that change your life.

       In the beginning, Occupy Denver was almost laughable. A few young minds who knew that something had gone terribly wrong in this country and that is was time to do something about it. Seriously there was like 6 of us. The first four of us to arrive sported big white poster boards with our chosen grievances to support, the two teens wore masks like V and my sister and I had our huge bags with water and snacks, it was pretty hot as I recall. We took small steps to the sidewalk in front of the Capital building.  We slowly raised our signs, trying to get past the initial awkwardness of the situation by nervously making fun of ourselves. But it changed when people started noticing us. People walking around us were asking questions and they would stop to listen. Cars would occasionally honk and passengers would wave. Two more people showed up and immediately joined in.  We went there thinking that our grievances would be heard by our Governor, but soon realized that it would be heard by the people, and that telling them was much more important. They wanted to listen! Some would stop and make signs and stay as long as they could before work. Some would take pictures. We even had a guy in a bear suit stop and hold a sign. Some would yell “F**k you” and give us the bird, and some would thank us. We decided to return every day. And every day the number of attendance grew and grew.

     I can be the first to admit that some people didn’t understand what Occupy was. Some believed it was all about corporate take- over, when really that is just the beginning of it. Some didn't understand us at all… but the ones who wanted to learn stuck around and the more dynamic it became, the more it changed. Life is about change and the more we came together, the better our ideas became. As much as some would like us to be, we are not all the same. We all had our own ideas about how to get our message across. We didn’t believe in leaders because we wanted everyone to be heard, and every idea to be considered. We talked to each other like we had known each other for years about things no one talks about, but should. It stopped being about getting the Governor’s attention and became more about getting each others attention. It became about proving to the world the things we can do when we come together.

 For example; Occupy New York had such a beautiful way of communicating that actually brought me to tears. Every single person was heard because every single person joined together in an echoed choir that repeated every word spoken by anyone who wished to speak. It brought on chills. It amazed me, inspired me, and enchanted me. I found myself wanting to be a part of something so beautiful that could change the way people think about each other, because that could actually change the world.  Occupy Denver became so big within just two weeks; on October 15th 2011 we marched with over 2,500 people in attendance. Grandmothers and Grandfathers holding hands. Mothers and their children, and they are smiling and laughing. Vets, the homeless, dogs, teachers, military men and women, teenagers…you name it, they were there. Some were holding huge American Flags, many wore V masks. A few brought instruments and would play music by the street and people would dance and laugh.  It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen; that day, with that many people marching through Downtown, with love for their country and love for each other; and the feedback was absolutely positive despite what people may say about Occupy. Most people cheered us on and were proud of us, would join us. Some didn’t even know what we were protesting about but were just happy to see all of us standing up for something. That day was our biggest day; it was also the first day of the police raids, and the day that I was arrested, but I’ll come back to that later. Right now I simply want to give you a different perspective of Occupy, if you have never actually been a part of it then I can tell you right now, you unfortunately will never fully understand the most important part of the story, honestly... The feeling.
 

   The feeling created by all of the people that came together to make a change was indescribable. We may have not had a concrete idea of how it was to be, but with all of those minds put together, being completely open with each other and accepting everyone for who they are…it changed us. We started coming up with ideas together that no one had yet thought of to serious issues. Occupy New York still works on one of those ideas today; clearing personal debt by buying accounts for pennies on the dollar and immediately closing them, declaring the debt null and void. They have already cleared thousands and thousands of dollars’ worth of debt and are getting more support everyday. When people come together, they remember what life is about; each other. The Occupation of the park all day everyday was about symbolizing the homelessness in America, and how it is something that we try to just push out of town instead of actually helping people. Heaven Forbid! You can try to pretend that one tent isn’t there but you can’t pretend that you don't see one hundred. Instead of listening to our grievances and offering solutions; the City of Denver continued to ignore us and then quickly  banned sleeping on the streets altogether, hurting the homeless even further. We felt our Governor had given us a clear message by ignoring us until we grew too large for him to ignore.  He gave us his answer by stomping down hard that first day of large numbers. Taking out as many as he could as to keep us from returning. Occupy changed that day too. Fear can quickly change the dynamics of any group. The Governor knew that all too well. We were soon arguing and fighting about how to deal with the sudden overwhelming presence of riot police. It scared people, many left quickly, the very young and the very old especially and the rest of us stayed to defend our rights. I won’t get into detail about how it all went down, I’ve already told that story one too many times,  I’ll just say that I was sitting on a sidewalk when I was arrested.  I ended up pepper sprayed in the back of a van in excruciating pain from the handcuffs that were far too tight and the pepper spray that was just…pouring from the top of my head, down the strands of hair that were in my face and into my eyes, with absolutely no relief. I am screaming at the top of my lungs for them to loosen the zip tie, but no one listens and they close the van door. Everyone in the back has to listen to me cry and scream like a crazy person but I will not lie…pepper spray is no freaking joke and when you got a cruelly sarcastic -- and excuse my language but-- a*****e putting a zip tie on you, prepare for some serious pain my friends, and some not so awesome, long lasting numbness, as some of us learned the hard way.

    I spent the night in jail; burning up and unable to touch myself because it was too much heat, trying to sleep but finding no relief of the pepper spray on my skin. When the police were informed they had to let us go, they let us out but they didn’t allow us to use the phone to call someone. They told me to get out. I was sent to the streets in the middle of the night; no phone and no money because they already took it all.  -Thanks guys hope I don’t DIE!  Hope that’s not on your conscience tomorrow…kind of.- Luckily I got outside fast enough to find someone with a cell phone and I called home. Occupy changed me in so many ways that I could never call it a failure. Yes I did walked away when the feeling stopped resonating, when things started to change, but I know that sometimes it happens; especially when the police become a serious threat every day. I will never regret being a part of it. It brought out a side of me I have never seen, one that I will always be proud of. One that wasn’t afraid to pick up a bull horn and shout about our rights with only a few people supporting the cause. I never in a million years would have ever thought I would ever be arrested for being rebellious in my entire life time; especially when that so called rebellion is something protected by the constitution. Things change. People change, and we can let it be a good thing or a bad thing. That is up to each of us. Together, we are strong. We are the many, and we are what hold this country…this world together. Without us, the machine does not run. We are the ones who can change this world, not the government, not the president, not laws, not law makers, not words on paper. YOU and ME.

  The simple fact is that the Government is scared of us. They were afraid of what was happening, and  so quickly. They panicked and sprang in to action in order to stop people from speaking their mind so loudly. I watched it happen right before my eyes. They came in with extreme intimidation in mind. Thinking back on it now, there were obvious instigators placed in the crowd. I remember them pushing the crowd to do things that were not exactly immoral, but were minor infractions like staying in the street long after our march. There were only a few instigators, but they did well enough to make the crowd act differently for the cameras. It was disturbing to watch. So many riot police descended on us from every direction. They were ready to arrest us all over a canopy tent that was being used to shelter food being made for the homeless and for the Occupiers after the march. After that day, I was afraid to return, I did a few times; but Occupy just wasn’t the same; our ideas of a better country had to become ideas on how to protect our own legal right to protest. It brought in many challenges and questions and uncertainty. We had a right to be there, we had a right to be heard and to use props as symbols of our grievances. Tents perfectly showed the overwhelming numbers of homeless in our community in an effective way. Why wouldn't the Governor just come down to talk to us, ask us questions, listen to our problems? The people wanted to listen but in the end the fear slithered in and slowly tore us apart. The Governor won the battle by scaring us into submission . Then he fenced off the park. I will never ever forget everything Occupy Denver taught me; the unity, the love, the growing numbers…even my arrest.  I want to thank everyone who came out to be a part of it, for having the guts to stand up for something, anything that you believe in and being a part of something that did change the world for many, many people, including me. We did it guys! Keep encouraging love and new ideas, we can still be that change -- together!
                                    Occupy Wall Street; Occupy Denver
                    I Love you

Author's Note

personal experiences