Untitled 16

I should have been named the joker
'Cos my life is such a joke!
At day I bring so much laughter
At night from my tears I struggle not to choke

I cannot describe the unknown fear that grips me
Everyday on my seat at work
I put up a font to engage in talks
Hoping its the facade,not me they see

They say i must be strong and apply some pressure
Like a wrist pressed to the sharp edge of a knife
For the pain in my life really has no measure
With it I am learning to cope and survive

I am not one to envy or compare
But if I am to be very sincere
I cannot stand next to my mates
So I run like a shy little child hiding from the world behind the house' gate

Most times I am overwhelmed with guilt
And the tension that living life as me has built
For a simple unintentional mistake
To make amends I can put my head on a stake

Most times I wonder what is the essence of me living
Why talking about death is so forbidden
Maybe the water will carry me off someday
As the clouds darken my day

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

A grim one here. The speaker seems overwhelmed by anxiety and guilt. We are not told the source of the guilt, only that it was a one time things. The things people endure unsuspected defy belief. Hopefully this one will soon seek help.