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Daily i lay awake at night
Thinking of how to end my sorry life
I ask myself the question; why?
I don't know the answer so i just cry
I exist in a body with a mind
that wants death;a human of a rare kind
My dark clouds in the sunn sky has me encumbered
By the rigours of life and living my strength is outnumbered
A positive "can do" attitude
Does little or nothing to help my ineptitude
I'm lost,endangered like a Nigerian male
in custody of SARS
Who has no good fortune written in the stars
Guilt overwhelms me like a raging Tsunami
I am as powerless as a dead Zombie
I see myself sinking in a dark hot bottomless pit
Swerved here and there unable to find my feet
No adequate words to describe the plethora of emotions
Existing within me in motion
I am conscious of their presence by the tiredness of my joints
Like a living being at zero point
I wonder if slashing my wrist to drain out my blood
Will rescue me from ennui's drowning flood
Or if blowing with a short gun my brain to pieces
Will bring the much sought after peace
For somewhere in my life lies a strong
Conviction
That something is wrong with me
Only in the event of my exit by death will i be free
In life,home and work i feel like an alien from outer space
Who knows no rest till its return to its rightful place
I have felt this way for so long
Anything other than this feels wrong