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My reality is a constant chaos
Acting cool in a burning furnace
In silence the voices are speaking
A smiling face while the heart is weeping

In solitude with myself i converse
Wondering why the life's in reverse
Old ghosts of painful memories
Frequently come to visit me

To remind me of those things i try to forget
The only true love who kicked the bucket
Those who deemed me raffish,unworthy
A mistake of creation,who should be sorry

Praying hands that dealt severe blows
Dark nights with blood, tears on my pillow
Gloomy days with sweat, misery, shame
And wishes that they forget me and my name

Somehow I survived and i am still here
Alone with the filthy residue of the stormy years
That time can't heal or make better
Trying to find the essence of the former and the latter

For my journey towards a new start
Is decorated with obstacles from my past
And why do i even bother
I'll be still as they bury me under