Suicide Note

Inspired by feelings of despair and hopelessness and the vagueness of life which words can not really describe

Dear God,

I apologise for not being strong

For being wrong all along

I try my best to do right

Still I don’t feel alright

I try to smile rather than frown

But my life is upside down

I dare not voice out my fears

So Iet them flow as tears

I apologise for my failures

The real reason for my departure

To rid my kind off the earth

And give way for the strong willed’s  birth

I cant’t seem to erase this burden

Which didn’t come all of a sudden

I fail to keep your commandments

I’m ready for my punishment

I have lost the will to strive

To fight to stay alive

Its hard to be on your own

In a world designed for homes

Its unfortunate to be weak

In a world where strength reeks

There’s no hope for the coward

To prosper and move forward

No meaningful relations

No joy, no cause for celebration

No gifts or talents to offer

And diffidence robs me of power

Sit and judge me easily

For all my reasons sound silly

The very point I am not trying to prove

Its my cross no need to approve

I only get to choose

On my feet are the heavy shoes

When I’m gone please don’t weep

Don’t even hold a wake keep

Spare yourself the trouble

For a life of much ruin and rubble

And on my grave

This inscription I crave:

Here lies one unfortunate by the hands of fate

weak, feeble sister and a daughter

defeated by the inability to have faith