Bring On the Night

She dances for peace, in the amber light

All sunset long, bringing on the night

Her body a dark silhouette against rose sky

Long breaths drawn out until the sun rises high

 

She’s what they call when angels need protecting

Tear drops like you and silver moons reflecting

She’s war-torn and strong, she can’t ever give in

She has a light that never goes out, where stars begin

 

A beautiful face but eyes that transpire

To cold angry pain and dark burning fire

When she raises her fist, her sword in the air

She screams for the lost and voices despair

 

She’s darkness and pure and light all the same

Her enemies cower, remember the name

She’ll ease away fears and for the hopeless she’ll fight

Because she dances in sunset, so bring on the night.

Author's Note

I wrote the first half yesterday, and just finished it today. Let me know what you think, I enjoyed it :3

Reviews

[nono]

I like the night.....This is good sometimes you feel hopeless or like nothing. And you don't even know how or if you can get better. Sometimes the time of day changes how we feel....sometimes i feel like that. very nice expressions i liked this.

[DamienHino]

Beautiful poem great wording, flow, and imagery

[Tallulah]

I absolutely love this. It's so descriptive and pretty. And has such lovely flow. I just love you're word choice it's so pretty.
She’s what they call when angels need protecting
Tear drops like you and silver moons reflecting
She’s war-torn and strong, she can’t ever give in
She has a light that never goes out, where stars begin
 
That was may favorite part probably cause of the angel bit. Great job!
Love you,
tallulah

[Jean]

This is very pretty, and has really good descriptive word choice. :) One thing that I think would make it much better would be that the whole poem is basically telling us about the girl, rather than showing us her. You know? (Show, don't tell type thing.) Make it a story, rather than "She is, and she does this." If you could somehow manage that while keeping the beauty and flow of the poem, it would be amazing. It will probably be a bit frustrating to do because you would have to change a lot. Either way, it is still a beautiful poem. :)

If you come up with the finished result and it isn't as good as the original, cause that might happen, then don't worry about it. :)

I hope you know what I mean. :) Awesome poem! :]