You Are....

You are scarred metal and cotton sheets

Dented, sharp cut marks that can’t heal over

You’ve been through something

But still,

Wrapped in you, I can feel comforted

Safe, warm

White, clean, you’re security.

 

You are silk and chocolate

You’re a luxury, these days

Soft, beautiful and classic in your own right

And when I’m angry,

A little bit of you can brighten my day

Because your name melts on my tongue

And the very idea of you puts a smile on my face.

 

You are dance and noise

I can think I know how this goes

But when I look to the mirror,

I come to find everything is wrong

And it takes forever to get the right steps again

But when it’s silent

I crave you,

Because silence means I’m alone, and being alone means

You aren’t there (no one is)

And I just can’t stand the silence these days.

 

You are, above all of these things, you

And I don’t need to explain that

(I really can’t)

no amount of words can add up to

the person you are

no amount of words can add up to

the three words I want to say

 

You are mine.

Author's Note

I think the chocolate thing is my favorite xD Last three words could also be "I love you", but I wanted to keep it with the whole "You are..." thing. So there.

If you review, I'll review back anything (unlike most people on here these days). Criticism is welcome, by the way.

Enjoy~

Reviews

[nono]

Very nice! i LOVE it descriptive well written and no spelling errors awesome

[Daniel Gardner]

This is nice. Very creative. I like the ending you chose actually. Saying "I love you" at the end may have fit, but "You are mine" is more creative. Everyone says "I love you" in poetry. Very nicely written. I love comparisons.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I think this was a good write. I like the chocolate thing too. I liked the poem in general. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Bud]

A brilliant artistic piece. Pure genius in my opinion. As always, your work simply gets better with every word you write. Keep it up my good friend. : >)

[The Fatal Lover]

Wow. I really liked this one. CHOCOLATE!!! lol =) Great job. =)

[Flo_writer]

I agree with you...the chocolate thing is also my fav. I like it and if feels like it should be dedicated to someone special. I riase my hand to anything that makes me feel that way. Nice work.

[Tina Kline]

This is very intense and well done. For me, it shows that love is all consuming sometimes, leaves a person feeling needy in the absence of the one loved and how painful love can be. I really like this.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

What an incredible write, I enjoyed this immensely.

[Ishmael Astree]

I think it is well-structured, but I have a suggestion. Although the speaker is in love, I feel as if the speaker is nothing without the mate. To me that's what I would call, "lost in love". The speaker (who I believe is a female) must have an inner self-esteem without him. She needs to be her, herself as a person. She needs to have her own personal strenght, but he will make her STRONGER.

In other words, she seems to TOTALLY depend on the lover. Does the lover feel the same way? Does he TOTALLY depend on her? Relationships, I believe is 50/50--one must build another but one must not become the other. If one becomes the other, because relationships are not perfect, one will have the authority to completely destroy the other. That authority must NEVER be granted (being hurt is enough).

[Lexi Nicole]

Awesome! I love this, it's sweet and perfect. And the chocolate thing is my favorite, too. :)